Purposeful Perusals, 15th Edition

Photo Credit

When You Might Not Pass This Way Again- A lovely reminder that life is precious, and pregnancy is about God and His plans and His timeline, not ours. Oh precious pregnant ladies, let us never complain!!!

Choosing Here- Joy of Grace Full Mama shares her real, hard, experience with sacrificing temporary comforts for eternal and lasting joy. So challenging to me, as I am a big comfort seeker and worshipper. I have no idea what it means to leave everything and follow Him...

Your turn! What items of interest have you found online this week? :)

4th Anniversary!

Yesterday was our fourth wedding anniversary :). I remember when we first got married, couples who had been married for four or five years seemed so much older and more mature than us... how is it even possible that this time has gone by so fast! I sure do not feel very old or wise ;).

In honor of our big day I thought I'd share a few wedding photos, just for fun :). So enjoy!

Getting Ready

The Hair

The Dress- $15 @ Goodwill, yes please! :)

Lots of Smooches :) Note the Kilt.

Mmm.... Cake.

Twirling

Exhausted- what a long day!

Who doesn't love looking at wedding pictures! Even though mine is long over with, I still delight in looking at other people's wedding pictures :). There is something so special about bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, wedding cakes, expectant grooms.... etc. 

How long have you been married?

Emptied Time Is Quickly Filled

Photo Credit

Today, it has been two weeks. Two weeks since I said farewell to wasting my time endlessly scrolling down my Facebook Newsfeed.

I have only been on to check notices and messages. The only status updates I've read (for two weeks!) have been those that pop up on the screen when I sign in.

My number one observation has been that the time I used to spend wasting on Facebook has quickly been filled with other time wasters.

Like listening to novels I've already read, for sheer entertainment. I listen to them while I'm working on other stuff- so that the house isn't too quiet, my mind is kept occupied, and at the same time I won't miss anything if the baby or whatever job I'm working on gets too loud.

It's not a bad way to pass the time ironing or doing dishes, but when it crowds over into the time that I should be investing in good, not-yet explored books I mean to be reading, it has become a problem.

With self-control, I need to guard the time I've allotted for educating myself and nourishing my mind.

It's not enough to say "no" to one thing. We must say "yes" to what we are replacing it with. Or lots of other "yeses" will quickly step in.

Time will fill. I must be intentional with how I am filling it. 

I'm reminded of the Biblical Principal of "putting off" and "putting on." When Scripture instructs us to put off one sin, we are told to replace it and "put on" something good. For example, "put off" stealing, and "put on" honest hard work so that you can give to others (Ephesians 4:28).

It's not enough to declare what I won't be doing. I need to declare the positive action- what I will be doing!

So not only will I not be reading Facebook Newsfeeds, I will be reading good books!

Do you seek to spend your time intentionally? What are your priorities in spending it well? What things do you need to cut out, and what will you replace them with?

The Road to Motherhood (Isn't Always Easy)

Photo Credit

We take so much for granted in this life.

"I am in control of my fertility."

"I will be having     children."

"I plan on having a natural birth... or an epidural... or whatever other birth plan I've devised."

"Of course I'll have a healthy pregnancy- my mother was healthy as a horse and had 5 babies, no problem!"

We forget about the Curse. The pain involved in childbirth. The reality that life is a vapor, often quenched too soon. That God alone is the Giver of Life, who opens and closes wombs without consulting any of us.

Sometimes the trouble is in the beginning. You start to try for a baby, but it never comes. Months turn into years, years into a decade... no pregnancy. You watch your friends who are fruitful and multiplying, attend their showers, babysit for their precious broods.... all the while wondering if your turn will ever come.

Hundreds of parents wait for a year, even two, for the completion of their adoption process and the arrival of their long anticipated child. Vast amounts of money spent, hours of anxiety and hope and excitement as they are forced to simply wait.

Then there are the fertile Myrtles, who can't seem to stop getting pregnant. But even overcoming this first obstacle on the road to motherhood is no guarantee (I speak as a woman who's gotten pregnant "on accident" twice).

Early (and late) miscarriages rob the womb of life. One in every three pregnancies ends this way. The anticipated due date arrives, and you find yourself crying in the bathroom when everyone else has forgotten your loss. You wonder what they would have looked like, what today would have been like if things had gone differently...

Sometimes the second trimester is achieved, and you think you are safe- you've heard the heart beat, know the gender, you're decorating a nursery as your belly starts to swell. Then pre-term labor (the rising Western epidemic) drops like a bomb shell, interrupting all your well laid plans.

You might come home empty armed after all. Or home with a baby, but after months in a hospital- with a little one who will bear the scars of prematurity for the rest of their life.

Even more tragic is the baby lost full-term, due to a cord cutting off air or labor complications. Oh, how the heart of the healing mother must ache as she lays in the mom-and-baby ward with no baby, hearing the cries of infants down the hall...

Or the child lost at six months. Or one year. Or five, or ten, or twenty... Death is the sinister reality of a world gone wrong.

Our hope is in Christ and in the goodness of God. The future world to come, in which He wipes every tear away from our eyes.

And yet the road right now is hard.

If your road to motherhood was easy, don't feel guilty. Thank God! Rejoice in His kindness, and delight in your precious babies.

Just please don't forget that it doesn't work that way for all of us. We don't resent you (though at times, we struggle with envy), but it is painful to listen to complaints of the woes of morning sickness, or the trials of your third trimester, or the agonies of your uncomplicated delivery. The annoyance you feel towards your house-full of children, the piles of diapers, your lack of "me" time.

May God give us grace to complain a little less, and to rejoice in Him a whole lot more. To never forget that life is always a miracle, and always precious. To be sensitive to the women around us who long for what we just take for granted.

May we seek to ease and encourage and love the women whose road is harder then ours. To offer compassion, to show sensitivity, to weep with those who weep.

Photo Credit

 Linked with: Raising Homemakers, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, and Women Living Well.

Reinventing Iced Tea

Photo Credit

 These gorgeous summer months call for iced tea. A whole lot of it. Ever since childhood, summertime has meant lightly sweetened sun tea, so cool, refreshing, and delicious.

Bored of the same old black? There are so many different things you can do to vary your tea intake :). Here are a few of my favorite suggestions:

Mix and match. I love black tea, but every once in awhile its nice to spice it up a notch. Throw in a peppermint tea bag while your black tea is steeping. Voila, a super cool and minty refresher! There are countless options- just open your tea cupboard, throw a few different things together, and see how it turns out :).

Go green. Green tea can be equally nice iced. I particularly enjoy Tazo's Green Ginger. It is flavored with ginger and pears. Delicious! Pregnant women beware- an antioxidant in green tea inhibits absorption of folic acid. When regularly consumed by pregnant women, this can lead to neurological problems in the baby. 

Try fruity. I also love pairing a black tea bag with a fruity herbal one, such as strawberry or peach. Your glass of tea could almost count for dessert with a little bit of sweetener added! :)

To make iced tea, I simply boil water in my kettle and brew hot (in a mug for an individual serving, or a pot for multiple servings), adding my desired amount of sugar (I find that if you try to stir it in once the tea is cold, it doesn't dissolve or blend in as nicely).

Let it sit to cool on the counter for a few hours, then transfer to the fridge or freezer (for a quicker cool down- just don't forget you put it in there!) for another hour or two. Serve over ice.

Are you a tea drinker? What are some of your favorite summer beverages?

Linked with: Domestically Divine and Teach Me Tuesdays. 

A Monumental Day

Pre-Wedding Festivities

On June 25th four years ago, I was only three days away from getting married. My parents were in town, and we were hustling and bustling with wedding stress and joy. 

On June 25th three years ago, our first baby was due. We had found out the following December that they wouldn't be coming after all. It was a day of mourning and remembering our first major loss as a couple.

On June 25th two years ago, I cried in the car for the baby I never got to meet, who would have been almost one. My Niall gently reminded me that June is also a month of joy, and that I didn't need to cry every year on June 25th out of some bizarre mother guilt. I wondered if and when we would ever be parents.

Goofy Anniversary Fun

On June 25th one year ago, it was a typical Saturday morning. I exercised and cleaned and grocery shopped, looking forward to celebrating our anniversary later that evening with Niall. Instead I ended up checking into our hospital's labor and delivery ward when my mucus plug fell out at only 24 weeks.

We almost delivered S that night, we stared the possibility of losing baby #2 right in the face. The Lord chose life over death this time, and we are thankful, oh so very thankful, for the precious gift of S.

Hanging out on Bed Rest

Today I am thankful and rejoicing (despite the rain and thunderstorms) as I remember the June 25th's of years gone by.

I am thankful for (almost!) four years of joyful marriage, and love that gets sweeter and deeper as time unfolds.

I am thankful for the hard and painful times He has brought us through as a couple. I'm thankful that they didn't break us, but only drew us closer to each other and Him.

I am thankful that I am not in the hospital, suffocated by dry air, riddled with needle holes and hooked up to multitudes of monitors and I.V. drips. That I am free to enjoy summer this year- with walks in the sunshine, glasses of homemade iced tea, and flip flop tan lines on my feet.

I'm thankful that S is here to enjoy it with me- healthy, happy, a bundle of blessing and joy. Her NICU days a distant and blurry memory.

At Church (One of S's First Sundays!) with Niall's Folks

June 25th hasn't been an easy day in years past. But today it is sweet, and I am counting a multitude of blessings bestowed on us by the Giver of all good things.

Monday's Resolution {Always Endeavoring}

Photo Credit

We are picking apart Jonathan Edward's 70 Resolutions, one week and one resolution at a time. Don't forget to start where he did- "Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat Him by His grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to His will, for Christ's sake."

2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things. 

My paraphrase:

2. Resolved, to be always striving to discover new means and methods for accomplishing Resolution #1. 

In case if you missed Resolution #1 last week, it involved striving to do whatever would most glorify God- promoting personal good, happiness, and profit; fulfilling the duties required of us; and laboring to do that which is of most profit to mankind in general. No matter the cost of time, no matter the obstacles, always and forever.

In Resolution #2, we are confronted with the reality that the Christian faith is not a stagnant one. We must always, continually, constantly, incessantly be striving after deeper knowledge of God and personal holiness.

What if every day I woke up and asked what new way I could pursue glorifying God and fulfilling my duty as a Christian, wife, and mom?

What if I was always looking for new methods of loving and serving God and others?

We must never be content with what we've already been or done. We must never rest on the laurels of yesterday's accomplishments.


Every day is a new day, a new day in which we must strive and endeavor after God and all things good.

Today (and every day) I must evaluate and ask myself:
-In what ways do I need to improve?
-What have I been doing poorly and how can I change it?
 -In what new ways can I show honor to the Lord today? Serve, love, and submit to Niall? Train, love, and teach S?
-Am I seeking the LORD with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength; or is my heart divided by love of the world?

As fallen human sinners, we tend to go into autopilot. Get out of bed, feed children, do housework, prepare meals, tackle laundry mountains, etc. Sometimes we slip into patterns of habit and thought, and get stuck in the rut of never thinking about tomorrow, the future, eternity...

We are creatures of habit.

Yet the LORD calls us to do all to His glory. To run the race with endurance, laying aside every hindrance. This requires daily commitment, and daily endeavoring. Fresh every day.

Do you challenge yourself to daily find new ways of glorifying God? Are you faithfully pursuing His calling on your life today?

Purposeful Perusals, 14th Edition

Photo Credit

Kindergarten at our House- Just when I was feeling overwhelmed and nervous about our decision to homeschool, I read this post and got excited. Homeschooling should be joyful and fun, a sweet opportunity to bond with your children as you help to shape and cultivate their precious minds and hearts. Thank you, Lindsay Edmonds, for reminding me of this!

Hope for those who Fear Pregnancy- If you haven't been following Jessalyn's series, please head on over now! In her third installment, she focuses on the Lord's ownership of us. All three posts give encouragement to the fearful mother (who may have experienced loss in the past) rooted and grounded in God and His Word.

What goodies have you found around the web this week? :)

Cultivating an Appetite for God

Photo Credit

 "Children will have an appetite for whatever they are fed in their earliest, formative years. I have known young people from 'committed' Christian homes who know more about movie stars and rock groups than they do about the patriarchs or the disciples. They can sing along with all the top hit songs but do not know the great hymns of the faith. I can only assume that they have an appetite for what they have been exposed to." -Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe

As I read Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book, Lies Women Believe, these words forced me to a sudden halt. Children will have an appetite for what they have been exposed to. What am I exposing my daughter to? What is the emphasis in our home?

I'm just beginning the journey of parenthood, with an eleven month old baby girl. My strong desire is to nurture her in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I would have "no greater joy" than to see my child walking in the truth. My husband and I pray that she would far surpass us in her spiritual life and achievements; that she would love Him with all her heart, soul, and mind, and serve Him with all her strength.

How can I cultivate these things in her? Certainly if she comes to know God and walk in His ways, it will be primarily a work of the Spirit of God. But are we furnishing a home compatible to His working? How can I develop in her a healthy appetite for the things of God?

Conviction struck a blow to my conscience. I cannot pass along an appetite for God that I don't personally possess. My own heart so loves the things of the world. I hunger for entertainment, personal comfort, material things...not the things of God.

Children are wise, intuitive. They see us and hear us and read between the lines. Hypocrisy does not escape their observant hearts. Our lifestyles are sending messages.

If we claim to love God and His word, but invest more time and express more joy and interest in the things of the world, we've undermined the values we so desperately want them to catch. If Christ is my treasure, it will be seen by my little girl in my priorities, my habits, my speech, my love, my life.

It starts now. She may be little, but the days are flying. If I am not seeking Him first now, then I am wasting precious time. Today I must put Him first. Today I must seek Him through His Word and prayer, and strive to be a vessel of His grace.

It will mean begging Him to give me unquenchable hunger and thirst for righteousness. It will mean forcing myself to my knees for focused daily prayer, even when I don't feel like it. It will mean cutting back on excessive entertainment and investing myself in things of eternal significance.

Today is the day to seek the Lord while He may yet be found. To plead for my daughter's soul, and to labor diligently after personal holiness. To count everything as loss in light of the surpassing worth of Christ. To adorn these works that the Word of God may not be reviled before my children.

What a high calling He has placed before us. I am so far from where He has asked me to be, there is such a long way to go on the road of following Christ. Yet the desire is there, and follow I must. 

In what ways are you striving to pass along a healthy spiritual appetite to your children? How do you practically center your home around the things of God?

Beat the Heat {A Survival Plan for Those Lacking Central Air}

Photo By Paul Black Photography

Yesterday was an extremely hot day. Fortunately, I had the car, and we ran errands and managed to keep cool.

Today is an extremely hot day. I do not have the car. And my kitchen is an utter train wreck (read- yesterday I ran a lot of errands and managed to keep cool).

Our home has one window air conditioning unit, which we've placed in our bedroom window. We run the ceiling fan and another big fan in front of the door to blow air through the house. My living room is decently comfortable, since it is right off of the bedroom, but my kitchen sits on the back of the house and swelters.

Most days it is tolerable, but today is just one of those hot days. Not even nine o'clock, and it is 80 degrees. Inside my house.

For those of you who have centralized air conditioning, give thanks and rejoice, and skip over this post :). For those of you who don't, here's my survival plan for the day:

Photo Credit

Do the hot but necessary tasks first. I have got to clean my kitchen today. It is seriously a disaster! It will certainly be a hot and unpleasant task, so I will be eating my frog and tackling it first. To keep my mind off the heat, I'll be picking up where I left off in listening to Elizabeth Gaskell's novel Mary Barton. As soon as I finish, I'll be rewarding myself with a cold shower (there is certainly no point in showering before I sweat away over the sink!).

Skip the hot but unnecessary tasks all together.  I will not be doing laundry and running my drier today (fortunately my laundry is pretty much caught up!). I will not be ironing. I will not be running my oven. I will not be going for a walk or exercising. End of story. Give yourself grace to let go of these things for just one day!

Focus on cooler jobs. Once my kitchen is tidy, I'll be sitting in my air conditioned bedroom with the babe. Probably all day :). We will fold laundry, play and read together, and maybe even deep clean and organize my bedroom while we're in there. My goal is to be productive without breaking a sweat!

Keep dinner easy. Hamburgers anyone? Make a plan that requires no oven usage! Slow cooked pulled pork sandwiches are another great option.

Drink lots of water. All day! Guzzle it!

Photo By Chris Runoff

Reward yourself with tasty cool drinks. Iced tea is my one weakness ;). You can bet that I will be downing a lot of it today. Make homemade iced coffee, or lemonade, or whatever suits your fancy. Kick your feet back for a couple of minutes and enjoy!

Count your blessings. Really, today may be hot, but things could be much worse. I am thankful that I have a lovely home to live in, cool and clean summer clothes to wear, clean water to drink, and nourishing food to eat. I am thankful that I am not a slave from one hundred years ago working on a cotton plantation in Georgia. That would be hot!!! Considering worse alternatives to my present situation always helps to pull things into perspective.

This is the day that the Lord has made! We will rejoice and be glad in it! :)

How do you make hot summer days more enjoyable in your home? 

Linked with: Hearts 4 Home and Beautiful Thursdays.

Complete Your Joy By Sharing It

 This weekend we had the privilege of visiting an older gentleman from our church at his new nursing home.

Pastor Bill is a retired minister. He is such a sweet blessing to our congregation, one of the nicest men you'll ever meet.

He adores S. When Niall called him Saturday to ask if we could pop over for a visit, he said, "Don't you dare come without my little baby." :)

So we packed up our little darling and hit the road. After a nice visit, it was time for Pastor Bill to head down to the dining room for the evening meal.

We agreed to walk him down and get him settled. He was one of the last residents to enter the dining room, and as we walked in, I

 felt the eyes turning onto us. A hush literally fell over the room.

Well, really, all of the eyes were glued on S. She was staring at the bright light fixtures, cooing and chatting, happy as a little clam.

Pastor Bill introduced us to the residents at his table, who all eagerly reached for S's fat baby hands, stroking her chubby cheeks and telling us about when their babies were little.

It was precious. Their eyes brightened, smiles turning up on wrinkly cheeks, joy beaming from their faces.

The room was alive with whispers and pointing, and I knew what I had to do. As Niall put it later, it was the right thing to do.

We carried S from table to table, introducing her to everyone, letting them touch and talk and smile and laugh.

The residents were delighted. The next day at church Pastor Bill told us that S was the talk of the evening. One little baby brought so much joy to so many people.

My heart was brimming with joy, happy to overflowing. S brings so much delight to Niall and I. I never knew how one little person could turn our world inside out and make it so much sweeter.

What better way to spread our joy than by sharing it with others? Taking her out, passing her around, boldly declaring that life is precious and children are no burden, but a blessing.

Our joy was complete in sharing it with others.


How do you share joy with others? 

Linked with: Raising Homemakers, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, and Encourage One Another.

Making Due Without My Mixer

My hand mixer is broken. Oh yes.

One night I was making a ginormous batch of muffins... and when it came time to mix it all up, my poor mixer flew out of sink and started clashing against its own blades.

Photo Credit

Very sad. It was a wedding gift (so it is only four years old... they just don't make them like they used to), and it even had one of those cool retractable cords.

I cannot even tell you how sore my arm was after mixing that bad boy. We are talking like a quadruple batch of muffins. No easy task!

Ever since I've been on the market for a used mixer, checking out yard sales and such. One day soon I hope to have this lovely appliance replaced, or even better, get a super cool Kitchen Aid stand mixer!!! In the mean time, here are a few tricks I've discovered while making due without it.

Think about it- a hundred years ago they probably did not have these nifty little appliances, and somehow they managed.

Soften your butter ahead of time. This seriously takes almost all of the labor out of mixing. If I know that I'm going to bake a batch of cookies, or whatever else, a couple of hours in advance I thaw my butter on the counter.

Never bake without your husband. When my arm is tired of mixing, I call in my husband as reinforcement. He can seriously whip whatever it is I'm mixing into shape. Thank you, strong Niall!

Mix one batch at a time. Seriously, I am never going to make a quadruple batch of anything without my mixer again. It is pure torture. I guess maybe if I started weightlifting or something, it may be more manageable....

Think and plan ahead. Not only are you setting the butter out early, you also have to think about the ingredients you will be mixing, what will be the easiest way to add and mix them manually, etc. For example, mixing just the butter and eggs before adding your sugar, just to break it into more bite sized, manageable pieces. Mentally walk through the recipe and make things as easy as possible.

That's all I've got. Have you had to make due without a major kitchen appliance? What tips and tricks did you learn from the experience?

Linked with: Growing Home, and Time-Warp Wife.

Monday's Resolution {Glorifying God}

Photo Credit

We are picking apart Jonathan Edward's 70 Resolutions, one week and one resolution at a time. Don't forget to start where he did- "Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat Him by His grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to His will, for Christ's sake."

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and how great soever.

My modern paraphrase:

1. Determined, to do whatever I believe will most glorify (honor, exalt, esteem) God, and be for my own good, benefit and joy, for my entire life, no matter how long it takes, forever. Committed to do whatever I believe I am responsible for and whatever is most for the good and benefit of other people in general. Determined to do this, no matter what obstacles come into my way, and no matter how many there are or how difficult they are.


Picture an umbrella. In your mind's eye, entitle it "Glorifying God."

What would be included underneath of this umbrella? For Edwards, it was:

• Doing whatever led to his own personal good, profit, and pleasure.
• Doing his duty.
•  Doing whatever was to the good and advantage of mankind in general. 

This, dear friends, is where we must start. We start by fixing our eyes on Jesus, the God Man, and loving Him and living for Him in everything we do. We seek to honor, esteem, treasure, and obey God.

When we live a life bent on glorifying God, we find that all of the other things fall into place. It's been said that "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever" (John Piper, Desiring God). There is joy in knowing God and living a life that glorifies Him!

We find that as we live in obedience to Him and walk humbly with Him, that He alone satisfies the desires and cravings of our heart. Glorifying God will lead to our own personal good, profit, and pleasure.*

 Furthermore, glorifying God means doing my duty. What is is that God has called me to do? First, He's called me to be a Christian. It is my duty to read His Word, seek Him in prayer, and obey Him- to be a God-glorifying Christian.

He has also called me to be Niall's wife. It is my duty to love, respect, honor, help, submit to, and serve Niall. As I fulfill this calling to the best of my ability, I am glorifying God.

The same thing goes for motherhood- God has called me to be a mom. It is my duty to raise S (and whatever other children the Lord may bless me with in the future) in the fear and admonition of the Lord. To love, nurture, discipline, and train her. As I do this faithfully, I am glorifying God.

Finally, underneath our umbrella of glorifying God, we see that it leads to doing what is to the good and benefit of mankind in general. The man or woman set on glorifying God will love their neighbor, do good to others, and share the ultimate good of the Gospel with others.

This is Edwards' first resolution. To glorify God, which leads to my own good and the good of others. What was the level of his commitment to this resolution?

He resolved to do whatever lent itself to these things for the entire course of his life, no matter how long such a task took him,  no matter what deterred him or made the road difficult. Nothing could be allowed to stop him, or to get in the way of this all-encompassing mission.

That's quite a commitment. Are we willing to step up to the plate and follow in his footsteps? Will we do whatever it takes to glorify God and love others, even when its hard, and saps all of our strength, time and energy?

Lord, please give us this mind set.

We need His grace and help to constantly be looking at our lives through the lens of glorifying God. To be thinking, "What would most glorify God in this situation? How can I best honor Christ in my words, work, and play?"

May He grant us the grace needed to live this Resolution.

*Note here that I'm not referring to a health, wealth and prosperity gospel. The wisdom of the world is folly to God; the world values money and health as their ultimate good. While God sometimes blesses His children with these things, He also uses pain, suffering and poverty for their growth and good. Only eternal things are of ultimate value (God, His Word, and people's souls).

Linked with: Better Mom. 

Purposeful Perusals, 14th Edition

Photo Credit

Good Reads for Summer- Although I wasn't interested in every single book she shared, Simple Mom's list of fun poolside books threw me in the mood for a good fiction read :). 7, Paris in Love, and Echoes looked especially enticing. What fun books are you reading this summer?

Eight Ways to Ease into a Natural Home- Katie (Desiring Virtue Contributor) shares 8 simple ways to ease into more natural and health-friendly cleaning products. I was inspired by the simplicity of it all, and have already started implementing some of her suggestions.

Jonathan Edward's Resolutions- This week we've talked a bit about them (here and here), and Monday we are diving into Resolution #1 (I'll be taking one resolution each week and pulling it apart for personal growth and benefit). If you haven't taken the time to read them yet, please do! You will be blessed and challenged by your effort!

What interesting or beneficial things have you found online this week?

Reflections and Resolutions

Yesterday my daughter napped for TWO CONSECUTIVE HOURS (which has never happened before...can you tell I'm excited???), so I sat down and had a quiet time of reflection.

First, I read Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions, slowly, savoring them.

Then I took out a pen and paper *gulp* and started making lists (I love lists, don't you?).

List number one was besetting sins I see in my life. I came up with 17... what is scary to me is the ones that I didn't think of. The Lord only knows how sinful we really are ( though my husband might be a good one to ask. I'm sure he could think of a few I've missed).

The second list was "Culprits in Feeding My Flesh"- e.g; manifestations of my besetting sins, or things that help to sustain them. For example, one of my besetting sins is time wasting. One big way I waste time is browsing the internet without intention or purpose (can we say Facebook Newsfeed especially?!?!). This went on my "Culprits" list.

Finally, I flipped the paper over and wrote out some resolutions. Here are a few of them:

• To not stare at screens all day. To look people (especially Niall and S) in the face while in their presence. 
• To NEVER AGAIN read my Facebook Newsfeed (drastic? perhaps, but I have a drastic issue here).
• To only go online with a detailed plan, check list, and time limit.
• To identify when I'm in the mood for wasting time or needlessly vegetating, and to instantly choose something worthwhile to do and take a purposeful course of action.
• To take rest and relaxation when needed intentionally, with a time limit and plan.

Most of these resolutions have to do with my time wasting, internet and entertainment addictions, and laziness.

While specific resolutions like this can be good for identifying particular areas of struggle, when comparing my resolutions to the great Jonathan Edwards, I noticed some glaring differences.

His resolutions centered on a desire to glorify God, and dealt directly with his heart and mind, his inner man as well as the outer. 

All of his resolutions are good, things that any committed and true Christian ought to be willing to adopt. They focus on obeying God, loving God and others, doing ones duty, and not wasting even a moment of time.

As I read them, I realized that my own heart was hesitant to adopt such radical life guidelines. Why is that?

Maybe its that I realize how hard they are and how sinful I am, how impossible it is to accomplish them on my own (a realization Edwards himself was fully aware of, at the top of his resolutions is a humble acknowledgement of his own inability, and a pleading request that the Lord enable him to fulfill them only as they would honor Him).

Maybe I am intimidated. Maybe I am lazy. Maybe I just want to be a good wife and mom because it makes my life happier and easier, or pleases others around me. I think that all of these things factor into it.

What it really comes down to, however, ultimately is this: , I don't really love God as I ought to, and I would much rather do things my own way than live a life of bond slave obedience.

There. I said it. I love myself more than I love God. This is the heart of idolatry. This is my heart.

Father, forgive me. 

In an effort to mortify my flesh (which again, can only be accomplished by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit), I am going to do the very thing which I'd rather not.

I'm going to be reading Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions once a week, and picking them apart, one resolution and one week at a time.

Do I think that Edwards' words are of ultimate significance and importance? Only so far as the infallible and unfailing Word of God is communicated therein. Obviously, Scripture is of far exceeding value, and the ultimate literature to be studied for the rest of my life. I get that.

But there is very much gospel grace living in his words. This man was a biblical, godly man, who really nailed a lot of big Christian life issues in the head.

Starting Monday, I will be beginning with Resolution #1, and sharing my observations and thoughts here on the blog.

Join me? It will be 70 hard weeks (Lord willing!) of mortifying our flesh and striving to live lives of sacrificial obedience to God.

It won't be easy. But by God's grace I hope that it will be beneficial, even life changing- for His glory.

*P.S- I have also come to a Pumping Resolution (for now at least). I'm going to start slowly weaning, and see how it goes. So far I've cut down to five pumps a day, and already I'm noticing a dip in supply, which is emotionally difficult in ways I did not expect. If I can deal with my emotional self :), I hope to cut one daily pump out per week, which should stretch my weaning out to S's first birthday.*

Linked With: Finer Things Friday and Weekend Whatever.

The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards and Becoming the Woman I Want to Be

Lately I've been feeling very introspective. Stress (over pumping, as I mentioned yesterday, and the busyness of life, among other things) has made me stop and examine myself.

 *Side note: When you are stressed out, it is a red flag and warning sign. Pay attention to it! Stop what you are doing, and ask yourself 1)WHY you feel stressed out, 2) WHAT you ought to do about it. Make a point of seeking the Lord in prayer right then and there, and refocusing your eyes upon Him, getting back into fellowship and communion with Him. I've found that when I'm stressed, I am anxious, and not trusting Him or walking with Him.*

I've been taking a deeper look at my life and what I am really accomplishing with it.

What I'm finding is that I have grand ideas about the kind of Christian, wife, and mother I want to be. But I am not living like that woman right now. Subconsciously I've tucked her away into the future, and haven't given much heed to becoming her right now. 

I am never going to be that woman in the future if I don't start heading in her direction today.

Have you ever read Jonathan Edwards' 70 Resolutions? If not, please take a few minutes and do so! You will be challenged.

When he was only 19, Jonathan Edwards sat down and make some conscientious, thoughtful decisions about how he wanted to live life (in light of God and His goodness), and the man he wanted to become. He wrote these things down on paper in the form of 70 statements, and made a point of reviewing and rereading them weekly for the rest of his life.

Jonathan Edwards went on the become a great and godly Pastor, highly influential in America's Great Awakening of spiritual revival. Today he is still known as the most brilliant theologian in American history, and is respected by all (even those who reject Christianity) in academia for his intellect and accomplishments.

He and his wife Sarah (another great lady, by the way!) went on to have 11 children, and their descendants have been some of the most prominent and outstanding American citizens in the history of our country. His legacy did not die with him.

What does this have to do with my week of introspection?  Well, Jonathan Edwards has challenged me to form my own list of resolutions. Not the New Year kind that fade and are quickly forgotten, but the kind that become an integral part of my daily life, that I review weekly, that help to shape the woman I long to become.

I'm taking time (while my daughter naps) to think and pray about these things, and to put them to paper. When I've cemented them a bit more clearly, I will happily share them with you.

What guidelines are you living by? Do you know what kind of woman you'd like to be 5, 10, even 20 years down the road? How are these desires shaping your life today?

Linked with: Beautiful Thursdays, and Hearts for Home.

Don't. Know. If. I. Can. Go. On. Any. Longer...

This simple picture could pass as a description of my life for the last 11 months. While it made me laugh, it also made me want to cry.

One year ago, I didn't even know there was such a thing as an "exclusive pumper." Nor did I know about the world of the NICU and premature babies.

My plan was to breastfeed. My mom breastfed me. Breastmilk is good for mamas and babies, and much cheaper than formula. So it seemed like a good plan.

Then S came 3 months early. Breastmilk, while good for full-term babies,can be crucial for micro-preemies. S was fed via a tube for the first month and a half of her life, so if she was going to get breastmilk, I was going to have to pump.

When it came time to try her first feeding by mouth, I was given an option: try breastfeeding exclusively or go with a bottle. Bottle feeding was the fast track out of the NICU. S had been in the hospital for ages, and I just wanted my baby to come home. Can anyone blame me for choosing the bottle?

After S came home I tried to switch her to breastfeeding. By this point I had been pumping exclusively for over two months, which had done a number on me and made my attempts at breastfeeding more than a little painful. We always had to use a nipple shield. S would fall asleep nursing, and I would still have to feed her a bottle and pump, so my experiments with nursing were taking three times as long as just pumping.

A few weeks into trying, I gave up. It was hard, it hurt, it was time consuming... and we were making zero progress. Breastfeeding was my first choice. Exclusive pumping became my fall back plan.

By December my stock-piled frozen breastmilk had run out, and we started supplementing with formula. I was still pumping 7-8 times a day, and not making enough milk to keep up with my daughter's demands.

The bigger S has gotten, the more challenging pumping has become. If you've spent anytime around me in person, you've heard me say more than once that

"I just don't even know what I'll do with all the extra time I have once I stop pumping."

"I don't know how much longer I can do this!"

"Sorry, I can't stay out any longer- I've got to get home and pump!"

"I feel chained to my pump."

"I can't imagine life without pumping."

To conserve time spent on the couch, I bottle feed S while pumping. Today she is over 16 pounds, extremely squirmy and strong and active... I'm sure you can imagine the rest. 

Every single pumping session (6 times a day, mind you), I'm dealing with a baby who doesn't like to be scrunched on my lap, kicking pump pieces, pulling out tubes, spilling milk down my chest, throwing off the alignment of my flanges, and contorting body parts into directions that they were not meant to go.

It is bothersome, to say in the least. And oftentimes very painful. And the bottom line? Both S and I are constantly feeling frustrated.

Yesterday I hit my breaking point. I'm just not sure how much longer I can do this! My goal was to make it one year.... I am only one month away, and yet I doubt that I will be able to make it to my goal with my sanity still intact.

What to do??? All kinds of mother guilt is hitting me. I want S to have the best, I'm home for her (not housework), and I save all kinds of money for our family by pumping.

I don't want to be rash in my decision either. For now I'm thinking of slowly cutting back, maybe just pumping 5xs a day? This is a hard call and I'm torn.

And that's where I'm at today friends- debating, doubting, stuck in a rut... It's the honest truth. Welcome to a day in my life.

Have you ever felt burnt out as a mom? What would you do in my situation? And how do you go about making important parenting decisions?

The Weight of Motherhood

Photo Credit

Her big, beautiful blue eyes look up into mine. In their depths I read total trust, dependance, awe, love, admiration. I am delighted, soaring the heights with the joy of knowing she loves with untainted, nothing-held-back, faith and devotion.

In the next moment my insides shrink back, paralyzed under the weight of her reliance in light of my own insufficiency. Oh, is this motherhood thing heavy.

She's thrown up again, an entire feed, right before bed. Her eyes are full of tears, mine are wide and searching for a clue, both of us coated in the smelly stuff.

"Honey, what should I do??? Feed her again? Or just put her to bed? Will she starve before morning?"

He shrugs. "I don't know- you know best."

Mother knows best.

Well, I sure don't. I am tired, my brain is fried, we've done this so many times...

Sometimes, I wish that someone who did know best would just tell me what to do. The exactly correct formula for feeding, burping, sleep training, nurturing, and raising a healthy, well-adjusted and happy child.

Until then, my poor little girl is stuck with the mom who doesn't know everything, makes her best guess (which is frequently wrong), and just hopes that this kid comes out in one piece.

The beautiful part of today is that when I mess up, she forgets, because five minutes is like 5 years in her baby world. And I'm her mama, the center of that world. Five minutes later, those same big blue trusting eyes are resting on me again.

Unfortunately, it is only going to get harder the older she gets. Instruction, discipline, education, rules... making the big decisions that help to form the woman she'll become.

And soon those eyes will gain more reserve, as she becomes sensible of my mistakes, sins, and shortcomings. Oh how I fear her growing up eyes.

So today I'm looking to the God who does know everything and always does best. The God who gave her to me and me to her, and called it good. And I'm asking Him to carry the weight of motherhood for me, because I just can't do it on my own.

And I'm loving her and pouring into her the best that I can, hoping that her grown-up eyes aren't so scary as I fear. That someday I'll look into them and read respect, love, and deeply rooted friendship.

Linked with: The Better Mom, Growing Home, and Mama Moments Mondays.

Purposeful Perusals, 13th Edition

Photo Credit

Hope for Those Who Fear Pregnancy- If you have not yet read the first two parts of Jessalyn Hutto's series on Desiring Virtue, you really need to. Speaking from her personal experience in losing one baby in the first trimester and another in the second, she gives hope in the uncertainty of pregnancy by pointing to the good God we serve, and His unfailing Word.

Evangelist Bill Piper: Fundamentalist Full of Grace and Joy- I've talked about John Piper's Biographies countless times before, yet I couldn't help mentioning this one that I listened to for the first time this week! Just the first few minutes alone are worth hearing, if you go no further. Listening to one of John Piper's sons talking about his father in real life was funny, refreshing, and almost made me cry. Then hearing John Piper discussing his father was sweet as well. What a blessing to have such a godly heritage! Three generations of pastors! I pray that the Lord will continue to work in my family down the generational lines, if He tarries.

Keeping Your Soul Refreshed as a Mother- Great advice for weary moms from Lindsay of Passionate Homemaking!

My Home is {NO LONGER} Buried Under Piles!

When I left you yesterday, my house was buried under piles of laundry, clutter, and dirty dishes. My in-laws had just left (after a two week stay), and I had been unable all week to get myself back on track and into our normal routines of daily productive living. In case you missed it, go ahead and check out the "before" shots.

Well, today, I am happy to report that this is what I'm dealing with:

No more laundry piles (though I do still have two clean loads that need to be quickly folded and put away).

No more dirty dishes (they do come back quickly though, don't they ladies?!?!?).

And finally, no more clutter piles. Thank you Lord!

You may think that with all of those piles gone, today I can sit and relax. Not so! The piles are gone, but the crumbs and dirt still remain.

And tonight we have company coming for dinner! So today I'll be rolling up my sleeves and turning up Pandora again, and making food, cleaning my bathroom, vacuuming, mopping... and you guessed it, washing more dishes.

I am seriously looking forward to it though! Because once the day is over and I have a clean house again, I can settle back into our normal routines next week (and play "keep up" instead of "catch up").

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

Linked With: Weekend Whatever and Finer Things Friday.

My Home is Buried Under Piles {Of Laundry, Dishes, Clutter}

After two fun-filled weeks with my in-laws, this is what I am facing today:

They've been gone since Monday, and every day I've thought "TODAY will be the day that I get my house back in order." Yet every day there have been errands to run, people to see, places to go... and at the end of the day I'm still staring at the same discouraging old pile of dishes. And laundry. And clutter. 

These piles can really get a girl down. But today I am no longer making excuses, or putting things off, or hiding under my covers...

I'm going to take womanly dominion and tackle it, one piece at a time. Because each little step I take is one step closer....

Closer to the finish line of an orderly domain. And an orderly domain brings peace to my heart (and my husband's too).

Each little step of progress leaves me with a wholesome feeling of satisfaction, the knowledge that victory is drawing nigh. I can almost taste it!

Today I'll be rolling up my sleeves, turning up Pandora, and taking my home by storm. No more living by feelings, its time to live by faith!

(After pictures to come! Knowing that I have to post them will be extra motivation to just GET IT DONE!)

How long does it take you to get back in your groove after company? What do you do to inspire yourself when you feel weighed down under a messy home? 

Linked with: Heart for Home, Proverbs 31 Thursday, and Passionate and Creative Homemaking.

Just Let the Woman Do Your Dishes!

Photo Credit

"Just give up now," my husband counseled me. "Let the woman do your dishes!"

It was Tuesday evening, and his parents had arrived only hours earlier. We had just finished dinner, and there was a pile of dirty dishes on my counter. My sweet mother-in-law was insisting on washing them, despite all of my adamant protests.

The last time they visited, baby S had only been home with us for a month. I was in the sleepless nights, new baby haze, and was thrilled to have her take care of housework and let me nap.

But this time would be different, I swore to myself. S is ten months old, we are into a great routine, sleeping through nights... I don't need help. Cathy (my mom-in-law) can just relax!

Yet here she was again, loving as can be, wanting to help me. Why couldn't I just let her?

As women, we have a natural tendency to think that we just have to get everything done, all by ourselves. Superwoman? Oh yes! We can cook, clean, launder, care for our children- and we don't need anyone's help to do it.

This super-woman complex? Really, it's just pride. We don't have our acts together, and sometimes accepting help can seem like admitting this awkward truth.

Yet it is true. We all need help! We need the grace of God and the righteousness of Christ to cover our sin, and sometimes in the day-to-day business of life as mom, we're going to need help from family and friends around us.

Help with making a meal, watching the kids, cleaning up house, running an errand.... even if you can get it all done, sometimes it is refreshing to have a friend come beside you and share the load. Give you a break. Let you rest.

Eventually (getting over this pride thing doesn't come easy), I was able to listen to my husband's counsel. I let Cathy do the dishes (most of the time), vacuum my floor, play with the baby while I wrote.

It was really refreshing. How nice to walk into a clean kitchen that I didn't clean, enjoy quiet time alone, have a little break.

And Cathy loved it too. She wants to help, she enjoys ministering to me, and even doing my dishes was a joy to her.

This week, I'm back on my own. Guess what- I get to do my dishes alone every. single. day. now. So it was really nice to have a break, because now life is back to normal. To be honest, I wouldn't mind the extra help forever ;).

If someone is offering to help you out, LET THEM! Let go of that nasty pride, be willing to step aside, and experience the blessing that results. Not only will you be blessed by the break, your helper will be blessed by the opportunity to serve you.

Just let the woman do your dishes!

Linked With: Encourage One Another, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home.

What I've Been Up to the Past Two Weeks...

Photo Credit

After a wonderful, fun-filled, two week long stay, the in-laws have gone home.

We have survived our 8 month lock down, and S is finally allowed out in public! Fortunately this happened while Mamo and Dado (Irish for Grandma and Grandpa) were with us. They were there when we took her to church for the first time, out to eat for the first time, grocery shopping for the first time. We had a blast :)!

There are many reasons why I love time with Niall's parents. Everything is so relaxed; we regularly break for tea and quiet times of reading, and someone is always thinking of a good excuse to go somewhere and get a cappucino (the O'Neill weakness). I think we went to Starbucks at least six times! Everybody loves to eat and talk, so that is how we spent the better part of our time.

I was really SO spoiled- Mum did my dishes, cooked, baked, cleaned, and watched the baby. Pop kept treating us to meals out. Niall and I even got to go out on a date- the first in EIGHT MONTHS!

Reunited with their granddaughter! :)

 S was so spoiled too- they came bearing gifts, of course, and could not get enough of their delightful first grandchild. She is going to have a tough time getting back into our old routine of having to entertain herself throughout the day while Mama works ;).

Today I am glowing as I think of how refreshing the last two weeks were... and at the same time, I have to admit that I am a little sad. The house is too too quiet, and I'm struggling to get out of vacation mode and back into work mode. Gray skies outside are contributing to the general atmosphere of inertia and melancholy.

On the bright side, we are entering a new season of life. I can finally take S with me to run errands, and we are back to attending church as a family for the first time since she was born! It is the most wonderful feeling- normalcy. Yes, our baby had a rough start, but now she is normal and can do normal baby things. I can finally take her out and show her off!

S loves going out almost as much as I do :). As long as she is in mommy's arms, all of the strange people don't seem to bother her much :). She sits quietly in restaurants, and will take a nap even in loud crazy places.

That's what's going on around here :). What have you been up to lately?

Purposeful Perusals, 12th Edition

Photo Credit

Children and Shame- A beautiful story by Sarah Mae, something I want to hang onto for the day I need it.

Married to a Writer- Gretchen of The Little Pink House shares a sweet letter to her husband. Made me smile!

A Mother's Rights- A good reminder for us moms, written by Jacinda on Raising Homemakers.

What items of interest have you found around the web lately?