/**/ The Purposeful Wife: January 2013

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Book Review: Desperate


It's been awhile since I read a book that hit me smack dab between the eyes, grabbed me by the shoulders and met me right. where. I. was. at that moment in my life. 

I was curious to read Desperate. Intrigued even. But I didn't expect it to have such a powerful influence and to be so pertinent to my current season of life.

I only have one baby- she is 18 months old, pretty sweet most of the time, and even naps two times a day still. This motherhood gig, while it certainly has had its ups and downs, has been relatively easy so far.

Until I got pregnant that is.

Because for the past two months I have been exhausted and feeling nauseous 24:7. As a high risk ob patient, many of my usual cleaning tasks and responsibilities have been delegated until after I deliver {I was given strict orders to take it easy}. Yet even with this great reduction in my work load, I haven't been able to keep up with the simplest tasks-dishes, laundry, making meals, and keeping my home in a relatively orderly state.

This baffles me. I have less to do, much less, and really- I can't get it all done? Many days have found me lying around on the couch, feeling sick, tired, and slightly depressed... mindlessly surfing my smart phone while my baby plays {neglected} nearby. So I guess you could say I was getting a little desperate. 

Enter Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson's new book. I sat down one night, weary and worn, to just sample a few pages. Five chapters later I went to bed with an encouraged heart and a renewed outlook.

Desperate addressed my struggle with housework. Housework is a beast that will always need taming. All that a body can do is their best- there will be seasons of real struggle, and seasons not quite as bad. Sally Clarkson encouraged me to just keep going, developing what structures and routines I can to ease the load. More importantly, though, she {and Sarah Mae} renewed my motivation. The real "why" of housework? No matter how dull and impossible and monotonous it may seem, I am trying to create a haven of beauty and rest for myself and my family!

Desperate addressed my need for beauty and rest. Speaking of beauty and rest, we all need a little more of it in our lives, amen? When I care for my own body and soul, I am equipping myself to better care for those who count on me {my husband and babies}. I was encouraged that getting away and taking little time outs is not selfish, but absolutely vital. Candles, music, and pretty things around my home will not only encourage my own heart, but they will bless my children and husband too!

Desperate addressed my real heart issue. It isn't wrong to feel tired, burnt out, or discouraged. These feelings are a normal part of life in a fallen world. What is wrong, however, is when I run to broken cisterns that cannot satisfy in those dry moments. When I am empty and discouraged, I need to run to the Lord- seek Him in prayer, be refreshed by His word, and figure out what practical things I can do to be physically and spiritually refreshed. This might mean taking a nap, leaving my daughter with Niall to enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend, or reading a book. Unfortunately my auto pilot reaction to desperate moments is to drown myself in social media as an "escape." "Escaping" this way not only doesn't solve my problems, it makes me feel worse. Beyond my exhaustion and despair, I add an extra heap of guilt to my plate. Desperate exposed my problem, and gave me a God-honoring solution for it.

Desperate challenged me to hold fast to my Biblical ideals. Some of our ideals going into parenting are naive and unrealistic- but some of them are truly God-honoring and worth fighting for. While I will never achieve perfect parent status, I need to hold fast to the Lord and fight for the Biblical ideals He has lain on my heart. There will be many days of failure along the way, and many days that make me feel like giving up. His grace covers those days, and His grace is what will equip me to get back up and try again. Our children's souls are worth the fight, are they not?

While I didn't agree with everything written word-for-word, Sally and Sarah left me free to disregard their advice {and anyone else's!}, as there are countless opinions out there, and all that matters is my obedience to God's Word and His calling over my life.

I was extremely refreshed, and have found that in the two weeks since finishing it, I've had greater energy and motivation to keep trying to order my domain, to love my husband, and to love my daughter well. With the nausea and exhaustion still lingering, there have still been moments of despair, but I find I'm bouncing back quicker, and my heart is hungrier for fellowship with the Lord.

Couldn't recommend this easy read enough to any other tired mamas out there! You are not alone. And there is hope, friend.

How has the Lord brought you through your "desperate" times? What one thing do you wish you had been warned about before embarking on your motherhood experience?


Monday, January 28, 2013

Monday's Resolution {Tracing Back Sin to Root Causes}

We are picking apart Jonathan Edward's 70 Resolutions, one week and one resolution at a time. Don't forget to start where he did- "Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat Him by His grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to His will, for Christ's sake."

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24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, til I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it. 

 My paraphrase:

24. Resolved, whenever I commit obvious sin, to retrace it to the initial cause; and then strive both to never do it again, and to fight and pray with all my strength against the initial cause. 

Sin is deceptive and subtle. It appeals to our hearts in little, seemingly unimportant ways. Each "little" compromise or flirtation with sin leads to even greater compromise... and before we know it, we are in a big ugly mess of it. 

Affairs don't begin on a whim. Marital conflicts go on unresolved, walls build between spouses, one spouse confides in an old friend, confidences turn into hour long conversations, and before anyone knows what happened, a family is shattered.

Addictions start small. We turn to the internet instead of the Lord when we are tired, burnt out, or bored. Soon "just one more minute" turns into an hour, and entire days are wasted, family and responsibilities neglected, because we are hooked.

This is why Jonathan Edwards determined to trace his sin back- to figure out where it started, and to fight not just the "big" sin itself, but the teeny tiny first steps towards it.

I tend to forget that I am in a battle. I forget that there is an Enemy to my soul, a World that hates my God, and that each moment will be one of victory for either the flesh or the Spirit. I don't take sin seriously. I flirt and play with it, and then wonder why it is so hard to pray.

Like Edwards, I need to be willing to fight and pray with all my might against even the smallest inclinations towards sin. I need to resolve to trace each evil action back to the root cause, and to cry out for God's grace to forsake it permanently.

I need His help for this battle. I need Him to give me the Holy desires necessary to wage in this war.

What "little" sins are wrecking havoc in your life, friend? How has tracing sin back to root causes made a difference in your walk with the Lord?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Third Time's the Charm?

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In my first pregnancy, I made it through the majority of the first trimester, losing our baby to miscarriage.

In my second pregnancy, I made it right up to the end of the second trimester, delivering three months early.

In this my third pregnancy, I am hoping that "third time's the charm," and that I just might make it all the way to full term ;).

Now I don't really believe in luck or charms, but I am eager with anticipation to see what the Lord does this time around, knowing that come what may- miscarriage, preterm labor, etc.- He is good, and it will be good.

Yes, this is my announcement :). In case you've wondered why I haven't been online much, or why my dirty dishes were piled nearly to the roof, I've been struggling through nausea and taking many extra naps. I am 11 weeks, due August 4th, we heard the heart beat yesterday <3. Prayers appreciated!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Ask the Homeopath {Part Two}

Welcome back to Part Two of my interview with my sister-in-law Niamh! If you missed Part One, you can check it out here

7. What power foods do you recommend for young children?

I’m a juice fanatic, so my number one is fresh carrot juice. Its full of easily absorbed minerals like calcium and magnesium to aid their growth, and they love it. Always dilute it for children because it can be too sweet on its own and might damage young teeth. Green vegetables like spinach, kale, and broccoli are great for boosting their immune systems. If you’re having trouble getting them to eat greens throw them in the juicer with the carrots when they’re not looking! I’m also a big fan of porridge for kids, full of soluble fiber and B-vitamins to keep their digestion healthy. If you have a coffee grinder then use it for seeds and throw these in as well for some healthy fats.

8. What are good natural antibiotics for people who need an infected tooth pulled and can't do the antibiotics?

There are lots of herbs on the market which will do the job but my favorite is Grapefruit seed extract – it’s very powerful stuff but won’t damage your good bacteria. 

9. What are your suggestions for severe tooth decay? Already following Weston Price diet as best we can and have arrested the progression of the decay but we didn't find this solution until 4 teeth were terribly affected. Really need them pulled but having trouble finding an honest pediatric dentist. I'm thinking absorption issues may be part of the problem because his teeth are not remineralizing as I expected they would be by now.

The Weston Price diet is brilliant {as you can already see :)}. This issue would normally need a consultation with a homeopath, because there are lots of remedies which can be used, depending on the child’s history of symptoms and character {homeopathy as I mentioned early takes all of these things into account}. You could try some homeopathic Tissue Salts which work great in general. Calc Fluor 6x can be taken daily to help strengthen the enamel against the decay, and Calc Phos 6x with help with the absorption issues as well as the teeth. Give these for a few weeks and it should help things.

10.  What are your tips for natural fertility help?

The first thing is to make sure both parents are getting as much nutrition as possible, so that there is enough to create a new life. Cut out processed foods, avoid drinking and smoking, and eat lots of vegetables, whole grains, and good quality protein. There are several homeopathic remedies which are wonderful for getting the hormones nicely in balance and improving success, but you need to consult a homeopath for this as every person is different and needs different remedies. There’s also a fantastic book called Beautiful Babies, Fabulous Families, Wonderful World by Belinda Barnes. She is the founder of the Foresight program in the UK, which claims to have a 78% success rate. I love this book because it covers absolutely every angle and she writes in such a lovely way {it’s like getting advice from your kind aunt}.

11. How would you help a sluggish thyroid?

Exercise is a good start because it stimulates the thyroid. I know it’s hard when you feel tired because of the thyroid in the first place, but even working up to a 20 minute walk every day will help. There are certain foods which can inhibit the absorption of iodine, which is needed for a healthy thyroid, such as soya beans, millet, peanuts, turnip, mustard, cassava root, cabbage and pinenuts, so avoiding these or making sure they are well cooked before eating can help. There are several products in the US (we’re not allowed sell them in Europe) which use natural thyroid extracts, so have a chat with the staff in your local health food shop. Homeopathic remedies again are wonderful for this, but you would need a consultation with a qualified homeopath to find out which ones suit you.





12. My pediatrician has prescribed a supplement for my baby that includes fluoride, as it's supposed to build stronger teeth. However I've heard that fluoride can be a neurotoxin and is unsafe. So far I've just stuck with a fluoride-free supplement. What would you recommend I do? 

I think you made the right choice. Fluoride is indeed a neurotoxin. We do need it for our teeth, but only in tiny amounts. The only way I would ever recommend taking it is in homeopathic form, as advised in one of the previous answers. In this form it stimulates the body to absorb what it needs and no more.

Thank you for all of your help Niamh! Be sure to check out her page on Facebook, where you will find excellent resources and information, and where you can also ask her any pressing questions this interview brought to mind for you :).

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Ask the Homeopath {Part One}

I am so honored to be introducing you to my lovely sister-in-law today :). Niamh {pronounced "Nee-uv"- "mh" makes a "v" sound in Irish} O'Neill Cid resides in the gorgeous Co. Galway, Ireland.

She works as a homeopath, with patients consulting her both in her home office and at the local health food shop. She is beautiful, funny, and down-to-earth. You can "like" her on facebook where she posts wonderful articles, photos, and advice on all things healthy and natural. 

Me and Niamh... a long time ago
We had hoped to present this information to you in video format, but as she was only in town for a week at Christmas, we found the time to be too short. Instead it's been put together in written form for your benefit. I will post the second half of the interview on Friday, Lord willing. Enjoy!

1. All right, for starters Niamh, can you explain to us what exactly a homeopath is? 

Homeopathy has been around for over 200 years. It is a form of medicine which takes into account a person’s mental and emotional, as well as physical issues. The idea is to match remedies to a person’s symptoms. The remedies can be made from anything, but usually they are derived from plants or minerals. They are made in such a way that they are very powerful, but also gentle. There are no side effects, and they can be used safely in children and pregnant women.

2. What first led you to be interested in natural medicine?

I suffered my own health issues from an early age, including anxiety. While working in a health food shop I learned that certain foods could make this worse if a person has sensitivity to them. I cut those foods out and couldn’t believe how different I felt! This lead me to study Naturopathy, which deals with food and lifestyle issues. Then I got into detoxification in a big way and studied Field Control Therapy with New York physician Dr. Savely Yurkovsky. He recommended also studying Classical Homeopathy, which I did, and totally fell in love with it as I saw the difference it could make to people’s lives.

3. How does one go about becoming a certified homeopath? Obviously the process would vary from Ireland to the US, but just briefly explain what you personally had to do.

It’s a four year course which involves studying anatomy and physiology, as well as diseases, and of course all the wonderful homeopathic remedies. In the last year we had to take observed cases and present case studies of patients.

Niamh and her Husband Ario, who is from Barcelona, Spain
4. If I wanted to make one change in 2013 that would yield the most significant and positive impact on my overall health, what one thing would you recommend? 

Stop eating sugar. It depletes the body of minerals (it has to use them up to process it), and it can cause all kinds of health problems.

5. Does this include all sweeteners, or simply products made from sugar cane? Are there any "safe" added sweeteners?

Its best to stay away from sweet stuff altogether as once it hits the tongue the body reacts in the same way. Having said that, things like raw honey or agave syrup, and it has to be raw, contain minerals that make up for the ones lost when eating ;).

6. All right, on to a few reader's questions. How can a person do "natural" on a tight budget? 

Some people don’t realize that to eat healthy can actually work out cheaper than eating processed foods- especially because you need less- you’re getting better nourishment, so you won’t be as hungry. I noticed while I was visiting the US what good value the organic greens and carrots are over there. These are the best types of vegetables to eat.  

Everything doesn’t have to be organic but if I had to pick one food group I would say your animal products, like meats and dairy, as these can contain antibiotics and growth hormones, as well as being fed GM feeds. Lentils are your best friend- they are very cheap and healthy and provide a good protein in place of meat. Get vegetables and fruit in season and local if possible because they will work out cheaper.

7. What are the best ways to boost your immunities, without breaking the bank?

Green foods are the best way to increase your immunity. The best investment anyone can make for their family is a good masticating juicer {like the Green Star or Champion} as these will give you the most from your green veg. They cost a bit, but we’ve had our Green Star for 12 years now and it had already paid for itself after the first year. If you don’t have a good juicer, eat as much green veg as possible, or you can buy green powders like Barley grass or Blue green algae as a supplement. Also, as I mentioned earlier- cut out the sugar!

To Be Continued Friday....
With S at Christmas :)
Linked with: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, and Raising Homemakers.

Friday, January 4, 2013

The Blogging Plan for 2013

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For those of you ladies who keep on reading, I want to say a great big thank you! Your comments, feedback, and emails always encourage me and challenge me.

As long as you are sticking around, here are my plans for The Purposeful Wife in 2013 {Lord willing!}:

  • Post a little less frequently. Over 2012 I strived to post 5 times a week, occasionally even 6! The problem I've found with this method is 1) it is hard and stressful for me to keep up with that, 2) the quality of my posts sunk lower and lower as time progressed, and 3) sometimes 5 posts a week is just too much for readers to keep up with. My goal for 2013 is to average 3 posts a week. I'm shooting for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Some weeks I might post a little more, and some a little less.
 
  • Continue working our way through Jonathan Edward's 70 Resolutions, one Monday at a time. I'll admit, sometimes these posts are a bit tedious for me. But I think that it is important to follow through and finish what I've said I will do! And I'm committing to investing more time in them, making them more readable, engaging, and applicable to our lives as Christian women, wives, and moms. Don't worry, only 47 left to go ;)!

  • Publish an ebook. This is the big scary goal that I'd rather no one know about, so that I won't be held to it :/. But there it is- OUT. I'm telling you. I'd like to publish the story of my daughter's three months premature birth, her NICU time, and how we saw the Lord miraculously work through these trials. Would anybody be interested in reading that? We shall see!
 
  • Offer quality posts about homemaking, marriage, motherhood, women of purpose, and book reviews. More of the stuff you've {hopefully} enjoyed in the past. 
 
I would still love your feedback! What would you like to see more of in 2013? Thank you!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Book Review: 100 Pound Loser

Meet Jessica Heights.

Blogger at the lovely Muthering Heights. She is hilarious. And beautiful {inside and out}.

And one time she lost 100 pounds. You read right: ONE HUNDRED! No small feat for a woman who birthed four babies in little more than four years. Yikes!


 Jessica just released a little ebook about her weight loss journey. I was able to finish it in one quick sitting- it is practical, engaging, encouraging, and HILARIOUS.

Even though I don't struggle with my weight {yet}, food has always been an issue for me. I love to eat. I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat for entertainment, when I'm bored, or just because something delicious is sitting in front of me...

Jessica graciously reminds us that although "God isn't paying attention to what I see in the mirror... He is paying attention to my heart." And that "Food can't really be a friend or a source of comfort to us- we can't expect it to fill the role that God designed for Himself, and for our human relationships, to fill." So this book was for me after all.

Join Jessica as she addresses why achieving your healthy weight matters, and shares the practical, nitty-gritty details of how she did it herself. Written for you- the tired and defeated mom with hardly the energy to chase her children, let alone exercise. 

While you won't get a super specific, guaranteed weight loss formula from a professional dietician, you will get plenty of good old-fashioned advice from someone whose been there. Jessica addresses your heart and physical need as a compassionate girlfriend who wants to see you succeed.

Warning: weight loss is never easy, it requires hard work and discipline! Let Jessica be your guide along the way.

You can purchase 100 Pound Loser for $4.99 on Kindle or as a PDF file.

If you'd like to hear what others are saying about 100 Pound Loser, you can check it out here, or read what my friends Gretchen and Trina thought of it! 

*I received a free copy of this ebook in exchange for my honest review.*

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Maybe This Year....

"Will the young woman find a mate? Will the couple have a child? Maybe this year will be the year of desire fulfilled. Perhaps, on the other hand, it will be the year of desire radically transformed, the year of finding, as we have perhaps not yet truly found, Christ to be the All-Sufficient One, Christ the 'deep, sweet well of Love.'" -Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart

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Praying for this sort of year for each of you friends, and for my own family as well. We all have certain unmet desires, yes? May we be able to say {truly} along with the Psalmist this year, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you."

Happy New Year!
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