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| Photo by Nina Matthews |
Some of my favorite memories over the three and a half years Niall and I have been married include times of reading together. I remember during our honeymoon sitting out on the deck under Florida sun reading Henry James’ The Portrait of a Lady. In the summer we love to sit on our own porch after dinner and listen to a tale of Sherlock Holmes or science fiction (his favorite, not mine :D), and winter finds us doing the same inside, curled up on the couch, cups of tea in hand (usually chocolate is also involved). We read The Hobbit on a road trip, and lately Julia Child’s My Life in France has been our great enjoyment (caution: do not read when hungry!). Most evenings right before bed Niall reads a chapter or two of Scripture out loud.
So what? You
might think. What if reading isn’t everybody’s thing? You may have a point. But
I have several good reasons why you ought to at least consider reading together
as a couple.
1) Reading can be a more wholesome
form of entertainment then just sitting in front of the tv. Think about it; reading requires
active thinking, while watching tv is passive. Reading fosters thoughtful
communication, while watching tv does not (interrupting a show to say something
usually causes annoyance to other people watching). Reading entertains while
educating, and although some shows may do the same, I’m going to go out on a
limb and say that most of the time what you watch is simply entertaining. Not
necessarily a bad thing (right now we look forward to watching “Downton Abbey”
on Friday nights), but for your regular unwinding times, maybe you’d like to
invest it in something of greater value. We often feel guilty over time wasted
when we’ve just plopped in front of the television, but have NEVER felt that
way after opening a book together!
2) Reading encourages thoughtful
discussions. In the
course of your reading, often you will come across ideas or thoughts that you
might not have considered left to your own devices. How wonderful to chat with
your husband about these things! You might be surprised at things you learn
about him, and you might be challenged to think differently in certain areas.
Reading will broaden the topics you discuss, and will encourage even more open
conversation after you put the book down.
3) Reading gets you on the same wave
length. It is very
easy to wind up just co-existing with your spouse. Life is busy, and each one
of you has different responsibilities to take care of, and different ways of
relaxing and unwinding. There was a good chunk of time in our early marriage
when Niall would be in one room on the computer, and I would be in another room
working on something else, reading, or just on another computer. What a shame!
How can you really connect with a roommate you aren’t spending significant time
with? When you read together, you are leaving your separate interests and
getting on the same page, and hopefully talking more (see number two).
These are a
couple of reasons why you and your husband might benefit from the lost art of
reading J. Maybe you’re sold on the idea, but
don’t know where to start. Here are a few suggestions:
-If nothing
else, make sure that you are at least reading Scripture together! God’s Word is of the utmost importance, and
being on the same page where Scripture is concerned is one of the most
important factors in your marriage.
-Don’t feel
overwhelmed or pressured to finish what you start. Niall and I have started
many many books together, and rarely finished one. That is okay! The time spent
while we were reading was beneficial, and if we move on to something else of
greater interest before finishing, what does it really matter? For example, I
loved reading Sherlock Holmes together, but Niall found it hard to concentrate
on when hearing it out loud. So we chose something else. Make sure that what
you are reading is fun for everyone, the goal of this is not to add one more
stressor to your already hectic life.
-Incorporate
reading into activities you already have to do. I know of one couple that while
the wife is washing dishes after dinner, the husband reads to her. How sweet J! When Niall and I drove to work
together, oftentimes I would read a daily devotional reading from Voices
from the Past. Be creative!
-Read
snippets of interest to one another from books you are reading individually. If
you are each already reading on your own, share things that pop out to you with
the other person. This is another way to get on the same page and have good
discussions.
May you
enjoy the richness of reading together, and may it bless your marriage!
Linked Up With: Better Mom and Teach Me Tuesday
