Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Overcoming Fear in Pregnancy {A Call to Open Hands}


As I mentioned in the introduction to this series, one of life's certainties is its uncertainty.

People of all ages die every day- we don't know when our day will be, or when the days of our children {in utero or out} will be.

The hardest thing for me as a mother is remembering that my children are not my own- "the Lord gives, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1: 21). Will I bless His name if He takes them from me?

Parenting, and more specifically pregnancy, is a call to open hands.

It's a call to knowing the risks of life in a fallen world. It's a call to love and to sacrifice and to give from a Christ saturated heart, and to yield joyfully to His will, whatever it may be.

David comes to mind. When the Lord caused his infant son {conceived in adultery with Bathsheba} to become very sick, he fasted and wept and prayed, hoping that the Lord would spare him. Once the baby had died, he got up, got dressed, went to the house of the Lord and worshiped. *see 2 Samuel 12:15-23*

Job also responded in heart broken worship when the Lord took his ten children in one day. Ten in one- I cannot even begin to comprehend it. It is very unlikely that many of us will ever experience a trial of the same magnitude.

Photo by Nina Matthews

This is a hard calling. How do we worship when our worst nightmares as a parent are realized? Truly, it can only be of God's grace at work in His people's hearts. Such other worldliness is unnatural to us apart from grace.

I could miscarry. Preterm delivery and its many risks could visit our family again, this time with a less happy outcome. I believe it is important to be mindful of the risks. To know that these things do happen, and that they could happen to me. I am mindful of the many risks, but by God's grace I am refusing to allow them to consume me.

As each anxious thought arises, I must seek to apply Philippians 4:6-7- bringing my worry to Him in ardent prayer with thanksgiving for all of His goodness to me thus far, and trading it for His perfect peace.

This is what He promises to those who seek Him- His peace, which surpasses all understanding, to guard our hearts and minds.

Today I am praying for His grace to keep my hands open, ready for whatever He has planned, and to entrust both my little girl and this 25 weeker baby boy to His more than capable hands.

Linked with: Grace Laced and Growing Home.

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