Monday, November 10, 2014

My Husband Isn't My Helpmeet


Often as a wife I've found myself sucked into a downward spiral of ugly thoughts. With all of the laundry, cooking, cleaning, dishes, and childcare, I at times make myself out to be a martyr.

The demands on my time seem to never let up, while my husband works his shift from 7:30-5. Sure, he is a very helpful, hands-on guy around the house and with the kids. But sometimes my selfish, greedy heart piles demands onto him that go far beyond the realms of his reasonable duty.

I'm angry when he doesn't read my mind and vacuum the floor while I'm doing the dishes. I become disgruntled during final dinner preparations if he's reading to our daughter but ignoring the baby's screams. And if by chance he is sitting on the sofa watching t.v. while I'm still slaving away in the kitchen, you can bet a storm is brewing in my heart.

"Why doesn't he help me more???" I stewed on one particularly grumpy evening. All I wanted to do was crash on the couch with him. I was tired and worn out, and it all seemed so unfair.

The thought dawned on me in that moment. A gentle, Holy Spirit guided hush- my husband wasn't made to be my helpmeet. I was made to be his

These dishes, and the day-in, day-out, draining tasks that come with a house full of kids- they're my opportunity to serve him well and fulfill my God given role of being "a helper suitable to him".

When I remember who is supposed to be helping who, it frees me to be grateful for just how helpful my husband really is. It's a reminder to count my blessings, and to do my work joyfully, as unto the Lord and not unto myself or other people {don't they notice how hard I work??? martyr complex...}.

I do think it is good and God-honoring for husbands to help and serve their wives. But when my eyes are on my lofty expectations for what my husband ought to be doing for me, my perspective is way skewed.

Peace and freedom come in embracing the work God has given with joy and a thankful heart. 

"Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'" Genesis 2:18

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