/**/ The Purposeful Wife: Just Let the Woman Do Your Dishes!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Just Let the Woman Do Your Dishes!

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"Just give up now," my husband counseled me. "Let the woman do your dishes!"

It was Tuesday evening, and his parents had arrived only hours earlier. We had just finished dinner, and there was a pile of dirty dishes on my counter. My sweet mother-in-law was insisting on washing them, despite all of my adamant protests.

The last time they visited, baby S had only been home with us for a month. I was in the sleepless nights, new baby haze, and was thrilled to have her take care of housework and let me nap.

But this time would be different, I swore to myself. S is ten months old, we are into a great routine, sleeping through nights... I don't need help. Cathy (my mom-in-law) can just relax!

Yet here she was again, loving as can be, wanting to help me. Why couldn't I just let her?

As women, we have a natural tendency to think that we just have to get everything done, all by ourselves. Superwoman? Oh yes! We can cook, clean, launder, care for our children- and we don't need anyone's help to do it.

This super-woman complex? Really, it's just pride. We don't have our acts together, and sometimes accepting help can seem like admitting this awkward truth.

Yet it is true. We all need help! We need the grace of God and the righteousness of Christ to cover our sin, and sometimes in the day-to-day business of life as mom, we're going to need help from family and friends around us.

Help with making a meal, watching the kids, cleaning up house, running an errand.... even if you can get it all done, sometimes it is refreshing to have a friend come beside you and share the load. Give you a break. Let you rest.

Eventually (getting over this pride thing doesn't come easy), I was able to listen to my husband's counsel. I let Cathy do the dishes (most of the time), vacuum my floor, play with the baby while I wrote.

It was really refreshing. How nice to walk into a clean kitchen that I didn't clean, enjoy quiet time alone, have a little break.

And Cathy loved it too. She wants to help, she enjoys ministering to me, and even doing my dishes was a joy to her.

This week, I'm back on my own. Guess what- I get to do my dishes alone every. single. day. now. So it was really nice to have a break, because now life is back to normal. To be honest, I wouldn't mind the extra help forever ;).

If someone is offering to help you out, LET THEM! Let go of that nasty pride, be willing to step aside, and experience the blessing that results. Not only will you be blessed by the break, your helper will be blessed by the opportunity to serve you.

Just let the woman do your dishes!

Linked With: Encourage One Another, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home.


  1. Thank you for this post. This is something I struggle with all the time, only it's my husband who wants to help (and usually when I have been too lazy to do what I should have been doing all along!).

    1. Oh Naomi, I totally know the feeling! I'm glad you found it helpful :).

  2. You know I was just thinking of this subject the other day. My mother-in-law is coming to visit for a month from El Salvador. And it was really hard for me in the beginning to let her help - I felt this need to serve her I guess. But over the years I have let go of that and work with her and we have such a great time. This visit will be her first time with us since the children arrived so I'm sure there will be new adjustments. And I was thinking that I have so much down to a routine just to keep up that I'm going to have to figure out how to let go when she is here.

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Glad you were encouraged Sandra! Have so much fun with your mother-in-law when she comes :). You're right, it is nice to work together! It makes everything go faster, and great conversations can happen when two women are working alongside each other in the kitchen :).

  3. Sound advice! Sounds like you have a wonderful mother in law!

    1. Thanks Jess! I surely do :). Very blessed!!!

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