/**/ The Purposeful Wife: Just Say "Thanks"

Friday, August 7, 2015

Just Say "Thanks"

Has your husband ever offered to do something for you- a task that you normally take care of- but not quite met your expectations?

Maybe he didn't load the dishwasher the way you think it should be, or he failed to tuck in the edges of the sheet just-so when making the bed, or he set the kids in front of the t.v. when you would have preferred they played outside before bed.

Or maybe a house guest is staying with you, and they offer to do your dishes. You notice the next morning that a few of the dishes didn't dry properly because they were stacked too tightly on each other, or one or two pans still have bits of food sticking to them. Or they put the dishes away in the wrong places and you spend the next week hunting down missing items in your cupboards.

This used to bug me. If my husband was the guilty party, I might stand over his shoulder and let him know exactly how I wanted the job done next time. Anyone else? I'd probably just go behind their back and fix it later.

But you know what? I am reminding myself now to just say "Thank you!"

Letting that ridiculous perfectionism fly out the window, I am free to relish the fact that someone did a job for me and I no longer have to do it. When you are a tired and busy mom of littles, that is a gift.

When someone offers to help, I used to feel guilty and hem and haw and maybe tell them "no thanks." Now? I know that I could really use the help, so I am trying to lower my pride and just be instantaneously, blissfully grateful.

I put away the dishes that still have a piece of something baked on them... maybe chip it off, but refuse to put it back in the dirty pile. It is good enough. Thank you, kind helper.

I find that platter in the wrong cupboard a few days later. I move it back happily and just think I am so happy that for once I wasn't the one to wash and dry it.

There is so much freedom and joy in just humbly accepting the help people hand me, without fretting that they didn't do it my way. My husband is much more willing to help me when I don't criticize, or stand over his shoulder, or complain about results. I would much rather have his help than always have it my way.

So when someone does your dishes? The appropriate response is "Thank you." Enjoy the help, and breathe easy mama.

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