Preamble to Another Birth Story

If you've been around here for very long, you might recall a birth angst post or two {Signs of a Traumatic Birth in particular comes to mind}.

My firstborn came via emergency C-Section at 27 weeks, and my son was a successful but traumatizing VBAC. This entire last pregnancy I struggled and went back and forth in my mind about  birth choices and preferences.

Theoretically, I'm a believer in natural birth. I've read a handful of books on the topic, love to eagerly discuss it with other birth enthusiasts, and could rattle off the many benefits.

But.

But due to my high risk needs as a former preterm mama, I am not a candidate for home birth. Our local hospital is very much your typical baby factory- they run it like a well oiled machine, insist on mom's delivering a certain way, and are used to most women getting epidurals {or at the very least IV meds}. I've known of a few women who travel an hour or two to deliver at more natural friendly hospitals, but with how fast my son came Niall and I are uncomfortable with that option.

Delivering without drugs is hard. Definitely the hardest work a woman will ever do. It is possible, but tough. With good support people, a big tool box of coping mechanisms, and freedom to push in whatever position is most comfortable to the mother, I believe it can be a truly rewarding, even empowering experience.

But that was just not going to be what I got at my hospital.

When it comes to birth, every woman has priorities. At the top of everyone's list {of course!} is a safe and healthy baby. Everyone has different levels of pain tolerance, and a woman should go with whatever birth options will set her up best for welcoming her new baby.

For the entire 9 months, I couldn't settle on what that would look like for me. An epidural could be nice, but there are always potential complications that left me feeling uncomfortable. IV meds supposedly take the edge off, but are more likely to have a negative effect on the baby. What if I got to the hospital and everything just lined up for the natural birth I'd really like- what if the particular nurse or doctor on that night didn't mind if I delivered on my hands and knees or squatting? Everything could just magically fall into place... right???

The only thing that I was certain of was my desire for the smoothest possible welcoming of my daughter into the world. My last two births had both been pretty rocky for different reasons... a more vanilla experience would be welcome.

Probably about a week before I delivered, this is the last belly shot we took.

Thanks for reading my pre-birth story ramblings... since this is getting lengthy, I'll save the actual birth story for another day...