/**/ The Purposeful Wife: For Women Whose Motherhood Journey has Been Hard

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

For Women Whose Motherhood Journey has Been Hard

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As follow-up to last week's post, I just wanted to tie up a few loose ends that have been rolling around in my head.

I challenged mom's who've had it easy to stop complaining. To remember that conception, pregnancy and delivery isn't uncomplicated for everyone, and to be sensitive to women around them who might be hurting.

But there is something important for the hurting woman to remember.

If I hadn't lost my first child to miscarriage, I too would have assumed that every mom experiences the joy of hearing a beating heart in the first trimester.

Even though I did lose my first baby to miscarriage, I still complained about my exhaustion and nausea in the first trimester with my second. Because even though I didn't take my child's life for granted, feeling so yucky was very trying in those moments.

If I hadn't gone into preterm labor with S, I would have complained at 40 weeks about my heartburn, and sleepless nights, and constant discomfort.

If I hadn't known the agony of two months in the NICU, I would have continued to assume that babies are always healthy and colic is the worst ever thing that could happen to a new mom.

If I hadn't had an emergency C-section, I would have continued to look down my nose at the women who didn't do it the "natural" (and thus, obviously better) way. Oh, my horrid pride. I would have whined about my 40 hours of labor, the pain of recovery, and the ensuing sleepless nights.

Even when you are hurting, it is important to remember that we are all sinners. As sinners, complaining and pride come easily to us.

If you're road had not been so painful and hard, you (in all likelihood) would have complained about the same things that grate on you coming from a mom whose road was easier.

The next time you hear her unburdening her "load" of a relatively normal pregnancy and birth, stop gritting your teeth, and take a deep breath.

Remember that if you were in her shoes, you might be saying the same insensitive things to some hurting woman, unaware of the pain you were causing.

Remember to be merciful. Ask the Lord for His grace, and that you might be able to show it to others.

What she is experiencing is difficult, and in moments of personal difficulty, we tend to forget that others have difficulties of their own.

I guess my purpose in writing these posts has been to encourage a bit more love and understanding on both sides. This is my call to mutual sympathy and sensitivity. To rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep.


  1. Indeed...may we always keep grace for others at the forefront of our minds!

  2. It's amazing how God uses our trials to better equip us to comfort and encourage and pray for others!

    1. I am so thankful He does Trisha! We serve a very good God!


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