Thursday, March 5, 2015

Resources for Those Grieving After Miscarriage


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Here I find myself again, writing about a topic that I don't love {it hurts} because necessity compels me {I've hurt, I still hurt, and I want to encourage others who are hurting}.

It's been seven months since we lost our last baby. The grief comes and goes in waves, but I can say that both my husband and I still hurt over it. Quite a lot at times.

Recently the Lord has been so gracious to me. He's showed me through various people and circumstances that 1) I've been growing hardened and bitter in my attempts at self-preservation, 2) people have not forgotten me in my trial, and 3) I am more loved than I could imagine by Him and His people. I've been embracing vulnerability as a result- opening up about our heartache, repenting of my hardness of heart, and trying to love others when I'd rather just be a loner. It's been good, but also hard.

Being vulnerable and loving others is painful. This is why it is so easy to grow hard and cynical in grief. If you feel angry or resentful, you can steel your emotions a bit more effectively. But the path to true healing and grace is the path of brokenness. Ouch. It's not always what I want to hear.

A few weeks ago a good friend, one who knows I am hurting and has loved me so actively and graciously through this trial, handed me Nancy Guthrie's book Holding Onto Hope. It has been a healing balm to my soul. Nancy lost two babies to a rare chromosomal disorder, at 7 and 6 months respectively. She weaves her story in and out of a study of Job in his trials. It is Biblically rich, and so poignant in its handling of grief.

I found myself nodding my head enthusiastically at every other line. Tearing up, laughing, and ugly crying alternately. This book is appropriate for anyone in any type of grief- loss of a loved one, financial ruin, illness, etc. I only wish I had found it sooner. I'm on my second read through, this time with my husband. It is good folks.

The second book I want to share with you is Jessalyn Hutto's new release, Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Enters the Womb. I haven't read it yet, as I am waiting for my review copy in the mail. Look forward to a full review in the the weeks ahead. Jessalyn posted this excerpt from the book the other day, and once again I found myself tearing up as I read. She draws from her own experiences {one early miscarriage, and one baby girl at 17 weeks} and points to Christ in a hope-restoring way. There are very few Christian books that specifically address miscarriage {actually, I can't even think of one...can you?}, so the Church desperately needs this resource.

Finally, I recently created a pin board titled "Miscarriage." I hope it will be a place where you can find much encouragement in your time of need. I'll be pinning articles and other resources that have blessed me in my own journey.

I don't know about you, but what has helped me most with healing apart from the sheer grace of God is fellowship with other women who have lost babies. There is something precious in knowing that you are not alone, that others have shared your same thoughts, experiences, and mixed emotions. May it be for your edification!

Blessings friends.

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