Tuesday, October 6, 2015

A Call to Endurance

Here I sit typing, 40 weeks pregnant.

40 weeks! When S came at only 27, I wondered if I'd ever be able to carry a baby to term. Then W came 5 days early and I just kind of figured that all my babies would proceed their due dates.

With number 3 I did not expect to be pregnant so long. Ever since the doctors gave me a due date of early October, I've been saying this baby would be arriving at the end of September.


And yes, it is absolutely a blessing. I am so very thankful for this third child. It is still delightful to feel her wiggle around inside of me. I am trying to treasure it, because you just never know if its going to be your last opportunity to experience the miracle of life inside you.

But can I tell you that 5 days longer, right at the end, apparently makes a big difference?? I sure feel a lot more pregnant! So this is what its like to run out of room, to feel your insides squashed to maximum capacity.

Niall had a two week break off of school, in which we were hoping I would have the baby... but it has come and gone. For the last ten days I have had some intense hip and pelvic discomfort.

Nearly every night for the last three weeks we've been getting our house in serious order, "just in case" it's the big night. Vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, finishing just one more load of laundry, one more project...

The other night I commented to Niall. "I think that is part of why this feels so hard! I thought we were sprinting to the finish line with all of our preparations... but it is turning into more of a marathon."

He smirked, and commented on how the Lord knows it is good for us and we could really use the help to be more disciplined in life. We struggle to be faithful in the little things {at least I do, for sure}- keeping on top of the housework, planning ahead, sowing seeds with our kids daily of family worship, education, and routine.

Apparently being 40 weeks pregnant is my call to endurance. An opportunity to continue in faithfulness, to remain prepared, even when I am weary and just ready to be done.

Isn't this what we are called to as Christians? A constant looking to Jesus, preparing for His return. I confess I am blind to the inevitability of either His coming or my own departure... whichever may come first, it could be right around the corner.

Yet my eyes are fixed on the temporary, the here and now. And I struggle to be faithful to the Lord for the long haul. To get up each day and seek Him first. To remember the good news that I am more sinful than I could have ever imagined, but more loved than I could have ever dared to hope. To choose love and joy and grace, to pursue righteousness with a fixed and steady brow. It is hard work my friends.

Forty weeks is just another gracious reminder from the Lord- "do not grow weary in well doing, for in due season you will reap if you do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9.

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