The Power of Accountability

Recently my husband started working out again. While he's long been interested in making exercise a daily habit, it's hard to find time between work and school and family. What finally helped him take the dive? A co-worker asked him if they could hit the gym together each day on their lunch break.

Because someone else encouraged him, and now because that person is counting on him, he has been super consistent- and reaping the benefits.

When I decided to embark on the 30 Day Minimalist Challenge, I knew I didn't want to go it alone. I asked a couple of friends to join me, and was thrilled when they both agreed. Throughout the challenge, our daily group text made each day's task both more enjoyable, and more compelling to follow through on.

Last summer one friend and I texted each other daily to keep up with blogging goals, and another friend and I texted to give account for our daily exercise. I never cease to be amazed at how much more I am able to accomplish with a little steady accountability.

Looking to make a change? Maybe it's your diet, or a messy closet, or a project you've been dreaming about but keeping on the back burner.

All it takes is a friend- one friend you can meet with, text, email, or call- asking them to come along side you, and you coming alongside them. Getting some extrinsic motivation to help move along your intrinsic motivations.

Your challenge: Think of one change you could make with the help of an accountability partner. Find said accountability partner, and agree on how you will touch base as you work on your goals.

A great accountability partner is a friend who encourages you with both grace and a little friendly pressure. If you know someone who is also wanting to change in a similar area, they might be a good person to start with.

Have you reaped the benefits of accountability in your life? What is the number one area you would like to make changes in? 

He Knows What I Need

My sweet daughter S loves to be awake... only at night when I want to sleep it seems. Can you relate? Motherhood and sleeplessness are synonyms, right? So this is no surprise to me, because it has been the plight of mothers down through the centuries. I get it. And most of the time I can roll with it. One of the wonderful things about being a stay at home mom is naps :).

But then there are times, like last night, when I've just about hit my limit of sleep deprivation. This child cannot possibly be still awake! If I have to keep my eyes open for another second, I might die! It is cruel not only that you are awake, but that you actually have to function sanely, still being patient and sweet to the little baby who has no clue about the misery she is causing.

In these moments I have found peace and reassurance with one simple thought. He knows what I need. The Lord isn't out to get me, He won't push me beyond my limits. So if my daughter is still wide eyed and in need of care, He will equip me to handle it. He knows what I need.

I love Psalm 127:2- "it is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for He gives to His beloved sleep." Amen! Music to a tired Mama's ears :). The Lord will give me the rest I need, when I need it. Let it sink in deep: He knows what we need!

One of those Days...

Today it's been just one of those days. Overslept, got up to feed a starving baby and send a sleepy husband running out the door. Still felt exhausted after feeding the babe, and after a 20 minute couch nap didn't revive me, I headed back to bed, feeling guilty, but more tired than anything else. Once I got up for good (at ten, yikes!) and was back on the couch feeding baby again, the despair started to descend.

"You've wasted half of the day! Look at this house! There is no way that you are going to be able to get it all accomplished. Think of your poor husband- he's tired too, but he's had to work all day anyway. What kind of lazy woman are you?"

Thank God that we don't have to succumb to these things. There have been days that I've dwelt in despair-land, but today I took a deep breath and decided to forget what was behind me (half of a wasted day). The good news is I still had half of a new and beautiful day ahead of me. There was no sense in dwelling on what couldn't be changed. I've done that before, and at the end of the day I was still tired, still bummed, and my untouched to do list was still looming like a dark cloud over me.

So instead I asked the Lord to help me where I was. He knows I am tired, and discouraged. He alone can give me the grace I need to face the rest of the day. Even though it didn't make me feel productive or like I was making a dent in the demands of my day, I took time out and prayed. And it helped. I was able to exercise, shower and get dressed, read my Bible, work on laundry. Now I am hitting the afternoon slump, but by His grace (and with the help of some pick me up caffeine :) ) I intend to finish the laundry, do the dishes and make dinner. Ready set go!

Are you doing the best you can today with a joyful heart? Or are you feeling overwhelmed and hopeless? What are some things that help you look to the Lord and persevere when you are tired and busy?

Observations from the Trenches of Failure

The trench of failure in which I am writing from is TIME WASTING. As with all sin, the truth about time wasting is that it seems sweet in the moment, becomes addictive (until a little wasted time spirals into a lot of wasted time), and always ends bitterly. At the end of a wasted hour, or afternoon, or day, I feel guilty and unsatisfied. As we covered yesterday, this is because I will only feel fulfilled as I live a life productive in honoring the Lord.

So what is to be done? I am tired of this vicious cycle, and I want to get out of it. Here are a few things I've observed:

1. Starting the day right makes a difference. If the first thing I run to in the morning is my Bible, and not the internet, a big battle has already been won. If I start the day with entertainment, I'll increase my appetite for more and the downward spiral begins again. But if I put first things first, then I am encouraged in my desires to be productive and redeem the time. If I am renewing my mind first thing in the Word, then I am setting it with Christ where it ought to be.

2. I need to plan how I am going to avoid time wasting. For example, I know that when I sit down to feed S, if I pick up the iPod, a little internet or a little video will turn into a lot of internet and maybe a movie. Not where I need to go! To avoid this, I will leave the iPod far away from the couch where I won't be able to reach it when I'm attached to the pump :). Next to me on the couch will be my Bible, Scripture memory cards, and a few carefully selected books I am reading. Wow, there you have it- another huge battle won! Instead of spending an hour frivolously on entertainment, it's been spent on renewing my mind and being productive.

3. Ending the day right also makes a big difference. If I end the day with a clean kitchen, when I walk into it in the morning I feel refreshed and ready to seek the Lord. If I walk into a dirty one, I am instantly discouraged, think "What's the point anyway?" and schlump over to the couch iPod in hand to escape my overwhelming abyss. Dramatic, I know, but when you are sleep deprived, isn't that how oppressive messes feel???

4. And finally, contrary to wasting time, spending your time wisely (as with any righteous thing) does pay off and brings joy. At the end of the day I may feel tired, but my kitchen is clean, I've read and studied good things instead of filling my mind with the world, and I can rest satisfied. Making wise decisions, like starting and ending your day right, can start a positive cycle of good decisions. And that is where I want to be!

Failures and Frustrations

Isn't it funny how the night you decide you are going to get up early and get onto the treadmill, your daughter decides to stay awake until 4 am (close to the time you had planned on getting up) with fussing and grunting and squirming, demanding you to forfeit your necessary night's rest? Yes, this is what happened to me last night, how did you guess? My personal example aside, you get the picture- whenever we make plans, obstacles just seem to jump out and throw us for a loop.

And this isn't me being a wimp. I have no doubt in my mind that after staying up with S all night, the right thing to do at 4 am when she finally fell asleep was to crawl into my bed. But how frustrating it is to have circumstances outside of my control keeping me from my goals!

Then there are the obstacles I can control, but haven't been. I love wasting time on the internet and other forms of entertainment. Lately I have been indulging myself from the first baby feeding of the day right on to the last. My little iPod makes it so convenient to browse the web, collect swagbucks, watch videos and facebook stalk people I haven't spoken with in years.

My recent lack of productivity has me feeling sluggish and depressed. For our Sunday School class at church we have been reading Dr. Wayne and Joshua Mack's book God's Solutions to Life's Problems. It is an excellent work, by the way, and well worth your time. In chapter 6, the Mack's address the crux of my issue. "My Father works. Because we are made in the image of God, we will find contentment and satisfaction only as we have a productive life.The greatest satisfaction comes out of having a life that is productive in honoring and glorifying God." Huh. No wonder frittering my days away on the iPod hasn't been very fulfilling or satisfying.

Okay, here is where I'm at. In this stage of life (let's call it newborn stage), I am required to spend a lot of time on the couch feeding S and pumping more food for her. This is not a waste of time, it is fulfilling the job that the Lord has called me to, and I can glorify Him by being faithful in it. It also means though that sometimes her schedule will prevent me from carrying out my own designs on how I believe I can be most productive (E.g- treadmill). That is life, and I can choose to joyfully accept that and work around it, or I can throw my hands up in the air and give up on all goal-making.

But on that couch I do have control over some things. Am I going to aimlessly play on the iPod, or spend time say, reading some good books? Will I place the priority on scripture reading, memory and prayer first thing in the morning, or will I succumb to what is easiest? This is my greatest battle: the battle between living to gratify my flesh and living to glorify God.

Pray for me if you think of it. I am losing the battle lately.

Tomorrow: Observations From the Trenches of Failure. I am writing it here so that I actually follow through!!!

When God Hands You Plan B

 "The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Early on in my two and a half weeks of hospitalized bed rest, my mom gave me a little notebook. On the cover it said, "Life is all about how you handle Plan B." Inside of it she wrote, "Dear Sweet Daughter, whether it's Plan B, C, D or Z it's ALWAYS God's Plan A that comes to pass." What a good reminder it was for me!

I never in a million years thought I would go into pre-term labor. I remember seeing "Know the Warning Signs of Pre-Term Labor" on a screen in my OB's office, and instantly dismissing it. "Won't be needing that," I presumed smugly. My mom had had 4 perfectly normal full-term pregnancies. I was young and in good health. It was my firm belief that I'd have to fight off the doctors from inducing me once I went beyond 40 weeks. Everyone goes late on their first, right? Ha ha. Not so.

On the fateful day that my mucus plug fell out, at only 24 weeks, things went from bad to worse. I went to the hospital and was initially told by a nurse that I'd be home in a few hours. Then after an internal ultrasound revealed a non-existent cervix the doctor said I'd be staying indefinitely, depending on what my body did. Two hours later the same doctor did a speculative exam and informed me that I was 3 cm dilated and my membranes were bulging. Eww. Translation: he could see my water sac dangling down, and it was in serious danger of breaking. Guess who wasn't going to be getting out of bed anytime soon? No more toilets, no more showers. Funny how the little things we take for granted become such a big deal when they're no longer available.

My "plans" just kept on changing. That night I started contracting, until they were only two minutes apart. I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of our daughter, barely on the brink of viability. "Lord, have mercy!" He gave me great peace, but it was a battle. The only thing that stopped my entire body from shaking was quoting scripture out loud. Then mercifully labor stopped around 2 am the following morning. And for two weeks my body cooperated. I planned on being on bed rest forever. I thought I would make it to at least 36 weeks. Ultimately I knew that God was in control and He would bring our baby when He deemed best, but I was hoping to keep her in as long as possible.

Then the contractions returned, and after three days of battling them with every drug in the book, my water broke. At the doctor's check I was 4 or 5 cm, and there was nothing more that could be done. She was coming. My Plan A had been to deliver as naturally as possible. Then my placenta started to tear and I was rushed for an emergency c-section. My introduction to breastfeeding was via a pump. My daughter spent her first two months of life in the NICU. I hoped and prayed that she would come home without oxygen, yet the Lord chose otherwise.

None of these events were my plans. I would not have chosen or asked for any of them. So how would I respond? Let me tell you, there were days in which I completely succumbed to my feelings of anxiety, disappointment, and self-pity. But God in His mercy graciously would bring me back to Himself, reminding me that His thoughts were not my thoughts, and His plans were not my plans. No, His are infinitely better! Even when we cannot see that. Thank God that He works all things according to the counsel of His will. Throughout our ordeal I was reminded time and time again that God has a purpose in EVERYTHING He brings me through. I was able to have joy despite the uncertainties and agonies of having a tiny little baby in the NICU. God does everything for our good and His glory. In moments like these this truth becomes less of a cliche and more of a solid reality.

Life is going to be full of Plan B's. Will we turn inward, becoming bitter and disillusioned, or will we look to the Lord and choose joy? "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes" (Ps. 119:71). "This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life" (Ps. 119:50). "And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love the Lord and are the called according to his purpose" (Rom. 8:28).

God is faithful. After the most eventful months of my life so far, I can testify to it. He has been good. Praise His holy name!

Motivate Yourself!

This week has been one of struggling. It partially had to do with the fact that we had scheduled events on two weeknights, something we try to avoid as a rule (in order to protect our time, marriage and other responsibilities). I also spent over 46 hours working outside of the home. At any rate, it was a week of falling behind, and this weekend I had to catch myself up.

Despite our best intentions, we all have weaker moments and times of failure when it comes to our domestic duties. When I'm struggling to keep up, here are some of the ways I motivate myself.


1. Take 15 minutes to sit down and read something motivational. This usually includes a small snack or a cup of tea as well.  Half of the benefit is taking a 15 minute breather, it helps to propel you on. I'll read something like a chapter of Elizabeth George on the home or wifely duties  (she is always good when I need a positive kick in the pants), or websites like Fly Lady. Although I don't think her acrostic is very good or biblical, I find that reading about cleaning your home and transforming your habits can be very helpful. After those 15 minutes I feel ready to seriously take control and go defeat the evils of dirty dishes and dust bunnies in my home.

2. Multi-task. While I'm cooking a meal or washing the dishes, I have found that rehearsing my scripture memory passages is an excellent way to redeem the time. It fills your mind with something encouraging and true, and fills the empty moments (waiting for a pancake to fry, etc). The task goes faster and my mind is renewed by the end of it. While I iron I talk on the phone or watch a movie. It makes the task less dull and more enjoyable. There are lots of ways to multi-task!

3. Set a timer. This is another tip I picked up from E.G. When I'm super tired at the end of the day. I set the timer for 15 minutes, or however long I think I can manage, and just plug away at my task. When the timer goes off, I am done. Sometimes it works in my favor though and makes me want to finish the task even if my time is up!

These are just a couple of the ways in which I pick myself up by the boot strings, so to speak. What motivators help you to persevere?