Preschooler Summer Unplugged

While we don't have hard and fast rules, we try to keep screen time super limited for our kids. Earlier in this pregnancy there were more extended chunks of television watching, but the more energized I've felt the more I've cut them back- to the point that our television was completely off all but three sick days in June.

Not relying on screens forces me to be more creative as a mom. If I don't get a shower before Niall leaves for work, I strap them into their booster seats at the kitchen table {at least the little guy} and give them art supplies and an audiobook. 

If you're looking for frugal and simple ways to keep your little ones unplugged and entertained all summer long, I've curated a list of our favorite go to's. Outdoor activities, because getting outside as much as possible while you can {can you tell the Pennsylvania winters are getting to me?} is an imperative. And an Indoor list, because sometimes you unfortunately have to do tasks like shower and clean your house, and sometimes it rains. Or is just way too humid for sane people to be outside {or is that just my third trimester talking?}. 

Outdoors

• Sidewalk Chalk. Seriously, we love the stuff. Step it up a notch and make your very own sidewalk chalk paint {1 cup water + 1 cup cornstarch + food coloring = 1 super easy and fun afternoon!}. 

• Water Play. Thanks to my sister, we now own a kiddie pool, which has been amazing. Seriously, my kids will spend two hours happily splashing while I read a book. Brilliant! But before our pool days, a baby bath tub, even pots and pans filled with water, were still fun and kept them occupied. 

• Nature Walk. Take a stroll, letting your kids roam and use up all that energy. They can collect leaves and pick dandelions and clover as they go. I'm often surprised at how much kids are enchanted by the simplest of things. 

• Puddle Jumping. Summer rain storm? Throw a pair of boots on and let them splash away. Our puddles are always muddy, so I make sure the kids are wearing clothes that can get dirty, and then I toss them in the washing machine as soon as we get inside. 

• Rocks. I keep telling you, its the little things folks. Collect them in a bucket, stack towers and knock them down, practice counting, throw them in water... my little man is happiest among the rocks. 

• Park Exploration. My husband and I share a car, so there are many days when I am home bound. But the days I have a car, we make park stops. We've been to 5 different parks {within a 15 minute radius of our house} so far this summer, and I'm trying to frequent as many as possible. Novelty is a powerful force in entertainment. 

• Picnics. Lunch, outside. Snack time, outside. Somehow food is more fun when consumed out of doors. 

• Story Time. Why not move your daily reading time with the kids outside? Find a shady tree, snuggle up on a blanket, and enjoy some good picture books. 

Indoors

• "Audiobooks" Via YouTube. This recent discovery has been a motherhood game changer for me. Did you know that there are countless children's books available to listen to on YouTube? I play them on my phone and flip the screen downwards so that my kids don't even know there are accompanying pictures. They just enjoy hearing the story! Think of your child's favorite book, and search the title with "read aloud" after it. It just might be there. The quality of the audio varies, depending on who recorded it... but even poor quality recordings have managed to amuse my kids. Some of our favorites include Peter Rabbit, Fancy Nancy, Ladybug Girl, and Max and Ruby. 

• Crafts. Allow them to practice their scissor skills and amass a whole pile of paper scraps, then give them a glue stick to glue said paper scraps to another paper and make a collage. Just these two activities could buy you an hour or two. My kids also love stickers, colored pencils, mom's gel pen collection, mom's highlighters {if it belongs to mommy, it is super exciting to use it}, and pom pom painting {clothespin attached to a craft pom pom as the brush} when I am brave. 

• Ice Cubes. Use an ice cube in a paint with water book. Throw them in the bath tub. Let the kids run around the house with them. Slowly melting water doesn't make too huge of a mess, so it is worth the opportunity cost in my book. 

• Cooking and Baking. As much as toddler/preschooler help in the kitchen can slow down operations, I am trying to remind myself that it will be worth it when my slightly bigger kids can really help. Trina Holden's Instagram feed is super inspiring in this regards! Whenever I make bread or pie crust or pizza dough, I hand each kid a dough ball to play with. They love it :). At almost two and four, they also like to help dump ingredients and stir. 

• Housework. Older kids may hate to do housework, but little ones are interested in whatever mom is doing. Let them push the vacuum {or try a hand held!}, dust, wipe down tables and baseboards, and scrub with a sponge. I'm hoping if I capitalize on their current interest and make it fun, the enthusiasm might stretch to older ages ;). 

• Balloons. You can get a bag of them at any dollar store. Batting around balloons is also much safer in the house than a ball. 

• Bath Time. Confession: I'm not famous for regularly bathing my children...but more and more I'm pulling it out not just for hygiene, but entertainment purposes. Throw your kids in the tub with a hefty handful of water friendly toys, and clean your bathroom {or just read a novel}. My kids will play until the water is freezing and their lips are purple... but boy what fun they have. 

• Library. Free and wholesome! We hit ours every Friday for story hour, where they sing songs, read books, and make a really cool craft that doesn't require my efforts to prepare or clean up after :). Win win. 

So tell me- how do you keep your kids busy all summer long?

Our Summer Bucket List

Each season of the year is only here for a brief snippet- it comes, and then it goes with little fanfare. There are so many seasonal activities that I want to share with my children. Memories to be made, with only a short time to make them.

This year I am attempting to be a little more intentional and not let the seasons just pass me by. I've made a simple summer bucket list to 1) make sure I am doing the things with my kids that I really know they will enjoy and can only enjoy in the summer, and 2) to cherish the days instead of just letting them fly by unmarked.

I'm sure that everyone's list would look a little different, but I hope my lends you some inspiration if you're looking for it.

• Go strawberry picking. At time of posting, the window for this year's strawberry crop has ended, but we did it- yay! Add it to your list for next year if you missed out.

• Make strawberry freezer jam. I've been wanting to try my hand at homemade jam for years, so it is now or never. I'll be following this recipe found on Pinterest. 

• Go blueberry picking. Can't wait to fill my freezer with these goodies!

• Visit as many local playgrounds as possible, as often as possible. My kids love running around at a good park, and it is a great way to spend a few hours and use up all that blessed energy they have. Exploring new play equipment and scenery adds to the adventure.

• Purchase a Popsicle mold and make them often, try as many flavors as possible. Kind of vague, I know, but I'll be keeping a list of the flavors we have made and our thoughts on them to help keep me accountable, and to make it a reality {same goes for my park goal}. I'm starting here for a list of flavor ideas. 

• Take the kids swimming at least a couple of times. Sadly I have gone entire summers without swimming once... but now that kids are involved I think that would be a tragedy for their childhoods. This should be an easy goal to hit- we plan on spending a week at my parent's home in Kansas later this summer, Lord willing, and they have a pool. Also my sister got the kids a kiddie pool for their birthdays, one of our local parks has a splash park, and we are hoping to take a day trip to the beach at least once. 

• Visit the ocean at least once. Living only a couple of hours away from the Jersey shore leaves us with no excuse! My husband and I both love the beach, and our kids have been clamoring to go. Thank you for the increased motivation, Summer Bucket List.

• Go on lots of picnics. Heaven knows why, but eating outdoors is just more fun. Combined with our playground resolution, we should have plenty of opportunities to meet this goal. 

• Have as many BBQ's as possible. One of my very favorite things to do in summer is to have friends over for a barbecue. You can't beat the food- burgers, pasta salad, baked beans, watermelon, chips, grilled veggies... and again, something about eating outside is magical, especially when you're with a group of fun people. If we don't do this at least a dozen times, I'm going to be lamenting lost barbecues come Fall. 

• Buy a lot of local produce to preserve for the winter. I'm no canner, but I can dice tomatoes and peppers to fill my freezer for soups and chilis all winter long. We have a great family run farm near us with unbeatable prices. 

• Catch fireflies in a jar with the kids. My kids are usually in bed for the night before dark, but at least once I want to let them stay up late to experience this magic. 

• See a fireworks show. Hello Independence Day!

• Hit up the zoo. There is a very nice zoo by my parents house, so I think this might be another good activity for our Kansas trip. 

• Go to a fair. Mostly for the food of course :), but I think the kids would also enjoy seeing the animals and checking out a few rides.

So what are your summer must dos? 

4th of July for Preschoolers

My daughter is {almost} four. She is constantly wanting to create, craft, read, do new things, explore. All of this curiosity and energy and interest is sometimes the kick in the pants that I need to make effort as a mama. Ha.

So I've been cruising Pinterest, and we've been enjoying all sorts of Patriotic goodies. Here is a round-up to keep your busy preschooler happy and learning this Independence Day.

Flag Toast. Who doesn't love a mini fruit salad in the morning??? Both of my kids thought this was a pretty fun treat. Even if they did proceed to take it apart bit by bit and paint our table with cream cheese. Ha!

Pom-Pom Flag Painting. Clip a clothespin onto a craft pompom for a fun and unique paintbrush. Pinspiration found here.

Printable Coloring Sheets. I love these vintage Americana printable coloring sheets. My kids also had fun coloring these pictures.

Scissor Practice. Perfect for hand-eye-coordination practice, this file can be donwloaded and printed also for free. S had a blast, it kept her busy for awhile- and I can't believe how much her cutting skills have improved since the last time we tried a similar activity!

Patriotic Straw Necklace. I had some old blue and red paper straws from previous parties, which I cut into 1/2 inch pieces and had S string into a necklace. It was a great opportunity to develop that hand-eye-coordination, and talk about patterns {red, blue, red, blue, red}. Pinspiration found here.

Library Goodies. When it comes to holidays {Christmas excluded} I would much rather borrow a stack of on-topic books from the library than take up valuable shelf space year round at home. Some patriotic titles we've enjoyed include John, Paul, George and Ben by Lane Smith, A is for America by Devin Scillian, Apple Pie 4th of July by Janet S. Wong, and Fourth of July Mice by Bethany Roberts. Find more quality, festive book ideas here and here.

Listen While You Work. While working on our 4th of July crafts, we've enjoyed listening to patriotic tunes on Spotify. Head to their site, do a quick "4th of July" search, and enjoy free music on your phone, tablet, or computer. We also listened to this 4th of July Read Aloud playlist on YouTube. I just flip the screen so my kids don't see it, and they enjoy listening to the books being read. Not of professional quality, and one of the books in particular is a little lengthy, but it is still nice in our opinion.

For Grown-Ups. I can't believe how much early US history I've forgotten... or just never even learned. Reading our library books to the kids was just as much of an education for me as for them. So in an attempt to remedy this, I've picked up Washington's Spies by Alexander Rose. So far I am really enjoying this intriguing look into the Revolutionary War.

Some of the links above are affiliate links- which means that if you make a purchase through them, I receive a small profit at no extra charge to you. But you should know that I am an avid believer in reading for free through both local and church libraries ;). Thanks for supporting The Purposeful Wife!

How To Teach the ABC's to Your Child {Without Curriculum!}

There are affiliate links in this post. That means that if you click through and make a purchase, I receive a small commission at no extra charge to you. Thanks for your support of The Purposeful Wife! 

Do you want to raise an early reader? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the countless {and often expensive} curriculum options available? Have you desired to teach letters to your preschooler or toddler, but been unsure of where to start? Are you sick of flash cards?

Me too, to all of the above!

By employing this handful of methods regularly into our daily routine, I have seen significant progress in my three year old daughter's ability to identify the names and phonetic sounds of most of her letters. She hasn't fully arrived, but she is improving daily and having a blast with the alphabet.

It doesn't take rocket science. You don't have to be a professional educator to teach your child their pre-reading skills.

Read an alphabet book a day. Each day we select one ABC book to read. I point at the letters and repeat them, along with the sound they make, several times. Now that we've been doing this for awhile, I often point at the letter and have my daughter identify it. If I tell her she is teaching the letters to her little brother or the dolly she is holding, she is usually all the more eager!

Some of our favorite children's alphabet books include: Peter Rabbit's ABC,123, D is for Duck Calls, Animalia, The Artful Alphabet, Eating the Alphabet, and Alphabet Trucks. Of course you could always go with an alphabet book from one of your favorite, classic children's authors- like Dr. Seuss or Eric Carle. And Melissa and Doug have an alphabet puzzle book that I am drooling over :). I try to check out at least one new alphabet book each week from our library, just to keep things fresh and interesting.

Point out letters as you see them each day. Anytime you walk by a sign, wear a shirt with text, glance at the cover of a coloring book, or flip through a magazine, you have a prime letter learning opportunity. Be intentional about seizing it! Name the letters for your child, and tell her what sounds they make. Just like a lion says "roar," B says "Buh."

Read a lot of books together. Obviously one of the fundamental building blocks for reading is to be read too- as frequently and long as possible. On the days that I struggle to get dressed and do housework, I try to at least be reading to my kids on the couch instead of surfing my phone, so that all is not in vain. Point out and sound out letters as you go.

Play with alphabet toys. Alphabet blocks, magnets, foam bath letters, and other toys abound. They don't have to be expensive either! I've purchased magnets from the dollar store, as well as Target's dollar section. Make sure they are included in your child's daily toy rotation. When it's time to clean up, ask them specifically to look for an A or F or H to put away. Make it a game!

Sound out words throughout the day. As I push my kids in the stroller I spell and sound out the sights we pass. "What does puh-puh-pond start with, S?" She jubilantly replies, "P!" Success! We work our way through short words, sounding out one letter at a time. If you are just starting this with your child, simply work on the first letter of the word. In time they will learn that rock starts with r, sidewalk with s, and grass with g.

That is all that I've done with S- no flash cards, no curriculum, no daily angst or nagging to get through a lesson plan. She can identify {almost} her entire alphabet, and knows the sounds that most letters make. Occasionally she will spontaneously sound out a word and tell me what it starts with, which makes me one proud mama.

Take a deep breath and relax, mom. The ABC's can be as simple as that!

How to Live Up the Last Days of Summer

Hard to believe, but Fall is coming.

In many parts of the country students are already back in school. The days are growing cooler and shorter.

While my own kids aren't school age yet, I look forward to the changes Fall will bring- less crowded library story hours, cooler days spent at home or out enjoying autumnal colors, scarves and boots, and pumpkin everything {especially pumpkin spice lattes! amen?}. By far, Fall is my favorite season.

Yet for all that I'm in no rush for the summer to end. Fall means that Winter is coming, with its long cold days and cooped up kiddos. While I'm excited for Autumn, I'm sensing the need to soak up these last summer days.

What's my plan? I'm glad you asked!

1. Get outdoors as much as possible. My kids love going outside, but many times I allow my screaming To Do list to keep us holed up indoors. I'm trying to use nap and bed times more productively, and selectively overlooking chores that can wait in order to maximize our outside time. Soon enough we'll be packing up the sidewalk chalk, water toys, and kites. When that day comes we'll all be sad. Best to make the most of these warm sunny days!

2. Make a last minute summer bucket list. If you're anything like me, you still have a handful of activities you'd like to get to this summer and haven't touched. It isn't too late to write your summer bucket list and make a plan for executing it! I'd still like to get my kids out to our local parks and water play place a few more times, visit the zoo, go to the Farmer's Market, and hit up the pool. It won't happen without a bit of planning on this Mama's part.

3. Move indoors stuff outdoors. This coincides with number one- any indoor activity that can possibly be done outside, should be moved there. Reading together, craft projects {bonus: easier clean-up}, handiwork and even computer work {provided you have a laptop} are all nicer out of doors. My kids outside play time is one of my favorite multi-tasking opportunities. I catch up on my podcast listening, read, write thank you notes, and make phone calls all while watching them play. It's actually a very nice break from housework!

One of our favorite things to do in the summer is eat outside. Whether we have a picnic-style lunch or a sit down dinner at our patio table, enjoying the fresh air and summer scenery is such a pleasure.

4. Eat more summer food. Watermelon, ice cream, funnel cakes at the fair, colorful fresh produce at the Farmer's Markets... these are the tastes we'll long for come January. So I say eat up now- as often as you can! Schedule a couple more barbecues with friends, get to the fair, take advantage of seasonal sale prices. Now is the time my friend. Don't miss out!

5. Slow down and savor. Life is moving way too fast. If we don't stop to smell the roses we may miss out on many of life's most beautiful moments. Take time to breathe. Get a break from the air conditioning and enjoy soaking up some sun with your babes. Make a big old mason jar of iced tea {my favorite summer beverage} and drink deep. This summer will be over before we know it, and our chance to enjoy it is now.

Photo Via Andrew

Here's to a delightful last few weeks of summer!

"This is the day that the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!"

I'm Home for Her

I'm not home all day to keep a perfect house.
I'm not home all day to cook gourmet feasts.
I'm not home to entertain or please myself.
I am home for my daughter.

Cleaning is good, cooking is necessary.
Raising my daughter is essential and my life's work.

Though I may have many responsibilities around the house,
they are not my highest task. There will always be laundry,
but my daughter will not always be little.

Do your housework, cook and clean. But don't forget the most important responsibility that the Lord has entrusted you with, the reason you came home in the first place. Spend each day cherishing your child.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

"Train up your child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Linked up with: Homemaking@Raising Homemakers
                        Wise Woman

It Wasn't Love at First Sight

The first time I laid eyes on S

My daughter's birth story was not dreamily perfect, it was not all that I'd imagined. The hours of agony ending in perfect joy as a healthy bundle is handed to you. Oohing and aahing as you observe that she has Mommy's eyes, and Daddy's nose. Smiling for pretty pictures and enjoying nuzzling close. Staring into the sweet face you've imagined for the last nine months...

No, it wasn't love at first sight. It was bleary-eyed, drug-induced confusion. It was a numbing shock, a surreal experience of fear and sorrow. Something about this picture wasn't right.

I was put under for her birth by emergency c-section and didn't even see her until she was 3 hours old. Her tiny, 1 lb. 15 oz. body was buried beneath tubes and wires and a diaper far too big for her, it was covered in angry-red skin. Was this really my baby? How did I know? How was this possible?

 Thanks to Percocet I can hardly recall those first few days. Initially I didn't even mind leaving my daughter alone in the hospital- it had been so long since I'd been home and in my own bed. My body was sore and my mind a fog. I didn't feel like a mom and I was still reeling from this strange providence.

Love didn't come at first sight- no, it was a slow, creeping thing that crept like moss over my soul. It began at five days old when they first placed her on my bare chest and she cried when they took her off. It exploded out in giant tears the day her i.v had to be replaced- a helpless little baby screaming as the doctor stuck her, insensible to the why of her pain. We cried together, my hand on her head, and her cry left an indelible print on my heart.

Love grew stronger each night that I went home empty-armed, until I could hardly bear the pain of missing her. And finally, joy abounded the day, two months later, that I took my baby home.

In a fallen world life is not always ideal or what we'd expected. Things aren't always as easy or instant as we hoped. Love isn't perfect, but it did come and it is enough. I've found peace in embracing my difficult start as a mother, and I want you to know that it's okay to grieve the sweet moments you missed out on. Someday you will feel like a mommy. Allow the Lord to free you from guilt and disappointment, and embrace the gift He's given you, imperfections and all.

 

Linked Up with: {Titus 2}sdays

                      Gratituesday

                                                 Domestically Divine Tuesdays

He Knows What I Need

My sweet daughter S loves to be awake... only at night when I want to sleep it seems. Can you relate? Motherhood and sleeplessness are synonyms, right? So this is no surprise to me, because it has been the plight of mothers down through the centuries. I get it. And most of the time I can roll with it. One of the wonderful things about being a stay at home mom is naps :).

But then there are times, like last night, when I've just about hit my limit of sleep deprivation. This child cannot possibly be still awake! If I have to keep my eyes open for another second, I might die! It is cruel not only that you are awake, but that you actually have to function sanely, still being patient and sweet to the little baby who has no clue about the misery she is causing.

In these moments I have found peace and reassurance with one simple thought. He knows what I need. The Lord isn't out to get me, He won't push me beyond my limits. So if my daughter is still wide eyed and in need of care, He will equip me to handle it. He knows what I need.

I love Psalm 127:2- "it is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for He gives to His beloved sleep." Amen! Music to a tired Mama's ears :). The Lord will give me the rest I need, when I need it. Let it sink in deep: He knows what we need!

Things I Wish I'd Known from the Get-Go in the NICU

Feeding S by syringe through her NG tube, day four in the NICU.

1. The Doctor's don't tell you everything right away, and that is probably a good thing. With so many possibilities of different outcomes and complications, it would be information overload if they tried to tell you everything you might need to know eventually at the beginning. Your first few days in the NICU are probably the most stressful of your life, would you really want to know all of the negative possibilities you could end up facing? Sometimes I felt angry or discouraged when a Doctor shared something that was happening with S that I hadn't seen coming. But looking back I appreciate that they saved things for a need to know basis. One day at a time. It was much less overwhelming.

2. Chronic Lung Disease is not as scary as it sounds. When they first mentioned it as a possibility for my daughter, I think I about had a heart attack. "My daughter has what?!?!?" But all it means is that your baby requires oxygen after 36 weeks gestation (adjusted age). Yes, your baby will have scar tissue in his lungs for the rest of his life. But the wonderful news is that the body keeps growing new lung tissue until age 2, so much so that the scar tissue becomes a non-issue. Will my kid have asthma? Maybe (after all I had it as a kid even without being born prematurely). However the diagnosis of Chronic Lung is by no means going to hurt her for life. Phew! Would have loved that info before having the heart attack ;).

3. Share your expectations with the staff very clearly. I will never forget the day that I came into the hospital later than my normal time, only to find out that a nurse had given my daughter her first ever bottle, something I had been longing for and waiting to do for weeks. It about broke my heart. S had done really well with it, but the joy over that fact was completely overshadowed by my disappointment at missing it. When you have a baby (especially your first) with a prolonged stay in the NICU, it is very hard to feel like a mommy. And those precious moments really make a difference for your heart! If I could go back I would have clearly, loudly, and often communicated my desire to be present for all major milestones. Let them know! Better to come across as slightly obnoxious then to miss out on those memories.

About Breastmilk.....

4. If you plan to pump milk for your baby as long as possible, buy a pump! We have been renting the hospital grade pump for five months now. With all the money we've tossed at it, we should have just bought a double electric pump ourselves. Although I have filed an insurance claim, I have yet to hear anything, and I am wishing I had something to show for all the money spent. Bonus: if you buy your own pump you have one for the next baby!

5. Your milk supply might not last forever. I had no concept of this. So many times when my milk supply was great I decided to be lazy and not pump as much as I should have. Oh, how I wish I could go back and pump like a fiend to fill my deep freezer!! Because my supply has been very up and down, and to this day I am not sure how long S will be able to have a strictly breastmilk diet.

6. Don't buy bags for your milk! One, they are expensive. Two, the hospital will continue to supply you with the plastic containers for free as long as you need! Three, sometimes milk bags leak when defrosting, and precious milk is wasted. Another way I could have saved a ton of money if I had only known.

I hope that these tips are helpful to you in your NICU experience! It would have been very helpful for me at any rate :).

Preserving NICU Memories

Although at the beginning of your NICU stay you may think you'll want to forget the entire thing ever happened, there will be things you do want to hang onto. Like just how tiny your little peanut was. And the moments in which you finally had that "AHA!" ray of light- "I AM a mother, and my baby knows me!" And how incredibly good the Lord was to you and your baby, the many ways He used His children to bless you. Yes, you will definitely want to remember these things! Here are some helpful ways that I've found to document my daughter's NICU stay:

-Photos. We took lots and lots of pictures! One of my favorite things we did was to take weekly shots of S next to a baby doll. . At first she and the doll were close to the same size. Now at nearly five months (two adjusted age) it fits right in her arms!

-Journaling. Within the week after my daughter's birth. my dear Pastor's wife gave me a beautiful journal that I felt was perfect for me and S. A lovely picture of a mother holding her daughter graced the cover. In it I began a journal to S, detailing the events surrounding her birth, and her time in the hospital. Since she has been home I've updated it from time to time with her milestones. I can't wait to give it to her someday :).

-Memento Box. Throughout S's hospital stay I collected various keepsakes; an xs preemie diaper, her stamped footprints from the day she was born, first hat, billy light goggles, and a tiny pacifier, among other things. Right now I just have them all in a wicker basket (as well as cards people gave us around the time of her birth), but someday soon I hope to get a pretty box to keep them in. I'll add her little preemie clothes too, and when she is a big girl and wants to know her story I will pull out the box and show her.

Because the truth is someday I will forget how tiny she really was, and I will want to see these things again and to remember the great faithfulness of the Lord, and just how precious my little girl was.

Parenting Lessons from the NICU

Having a hospitalized newborn is definitely a rough start to parenting. At the same time, my daughter's two months in the NICU was full of important life lessons for me as a parent. Here are a few things I learned:

1. Don't compare your child to other children. Everyone is different, and to compare is to place unfair expectations on my child, and to set myself up for disappointment. While S was in the NICU, I was busy studying other babies who came around the same weight and gestational age. When she didn't meet the same milestones at their pace, I was inevitably crushed. At the same time she beat some of them to other milestones. Every baby has different genetic and developmental variables. I need to focus on just my baby, one step at a time. When I stop comparing I free myself up to rejoice in the little improvements that she makes on her own perfect time table. Everyone is happier that way!

2. Don't be obsessed with numbers! Every NICU parent falls into the rut of staring at the monitor screen. What is my baby satting? How's her heart rate? Other numbers can also become an obsession- what she weighed today, how many ml she took at her last feed, etc. This can keep us as parents from just enjoying our babies. Let the numbers go! Study your baby for his important cues and you will learn better how to help and care for him. I suppose that someday this will apply to things like test scores :).

3. My child is in God's hands. This was probably the hardest one for me, and yet the most essential. Every night I had to say good-bye to my baby and leave her in the hands of practical strangers. Don't get me wrong- the nurses were fantastic, and we really grew to love a handful of them that we are still in touch with since S's release. But some were better than others, and some I didn't know as well. Some cared more and really invested as they would if it were their own family member. But for some of them it was just a job. And what if my little girl was left to cry on her own for a long time? Her voice was so little, and she was in a room all by herself. Or what if a life-changing decision had to be made, and the person in charge of her made the wrong choice? Or what if they were negligent and the impact effected my baby for the rest of her life? The scary scenarios were endless, and if I had continued to dwell on them I would have made myself crazy. Ultimately I had to realize that my child was in God's hands. He was in that hospital room with her, and He was working each event in it according to the counsel of His will. Even if something did go terribly wrong. Isn't this true at all times anyway? When your child is 2, 4, 10, and beyond. Even if you watch them like a hawk and do all that you can, sometimes kids get cancer. Or hit by a car. Or choke or run away or are kidnapped. It happens  all the time. And the only thing we can know for certain is that the LORD is with them, and nothing happens to them apart from His loving and perfect decree. We don't have any guarantees outside of that ever. All that we can do is entrust them to our Heavenly Father's care.    

4. Be flexible and go with the flow, don't come with expectations which you cannot control. The NICU has been called a roller coaster countless times by countless people. One day your baby is doing great and you feel elated, the next day is disastrous and you walk away heartbroken. The only way I found to take it in stride was to try to keep a blank slate every morning when I walked into S's room. No expectations, praying for grace and patience for whatever was ahead, rejoicing in the sweet things as they came along. This is a moment-by-moment battle. We can have victory only in clinging to the promises of God!                                                                                                                                                             
5. Do not worry about tomorrow. I guess this ties in with the last two. Don't entertain endless what-ifs, be in the present and trust the LORD with this moment. His mercies are new every morning, and He gives more grace, as you need it!

6. My hope is in God, not men or medicine. Another toughie, also ties in with the last three. Sometimes doctors would promise us things that didn't happen, and when S didn't meet their expectations we were hugely disappointed. Other times S exceeded their expectations. Ultimately it didn't matter what drug they used or decision they made- how S responded and what happened in her body was, again, in God's hands .It is very easy to trust in things we see, but we are called to rely on the One who is unseen. And we praise Him no matter what- when things go as we had hoped, or when all earthly hope is lost.                                                                                                                                                                                                          
I hope that these lessons will be a help to you as they were and still are to me. What important lessons have you learned as a parent?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Linked Up With: Titus 2sday                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

A New Purpose

My purpose in starting this blog was to share things I was learning in my role as a wife and homemaker, in hopes of blessing, encouraging and learning from other homemakers along the way.

Several months in, my life was completely changed by the premature birth of my daughter. Little S came 3 months early, at 27 weeks, weighing 1 lb. 15 oz. In many ways the experience was devastatingly painful, but as with all trials in the life of a Christian, it was also a valley of great learning and affirmation of the truths I hold dearest. God is still completely sovereign, He has a purpose in every circumstance He brings the Christian through, and He lovingly cares for His own.

One of the hardest aspects of my trial was the great feeling of loneliness- all of my close friends and family members had delivered healthy, full-term babies. Although I did meet several parents in similar circumstances during our time in the NICU, none of them were believers. And what true comfort can come apart from Christ? There was mutual sympathy and support, but no real soul-sharing comfort.

Since my daughter's homecoming, I've heard of two other families recently thrust into similar situations- friends of friends who I don't know- and my heart goes out to them. I know the pain, the fear, the uncertainties, and the roller-coaster nature of the NICU. I long to hug them, to cry with them, to comfort them with the comfort with which I have been comforted by God (2 Cor.1:4).

In a desire to offer resources to other believers who happen to also be parents of preemies, I will be using this blog as a platform for just that. I still intend to post wife, mommy, and home things, I'm just adding something new to the mix. Something that is very much a part of me since the Lord chose to bring it into my life. Eventually I hope to have a wealth of material designed to encourage and inform NICU mommies, including guest posts from other women who have been there, done that. Stay tuned...                 

Exciting News!!!

It has been a majorly exciting week in our home. Baby S achieved one giant milestone when the doctor said she could come off of the oxygen Tuesday evening!!! It has been glorious- kissing sweet baby cheeks with no tape on them for the first time ever. Seeing her whole face, just her face, with nothing on it. We've waited nearly four months for this, and it was well worth every moment.

Even better, my mom came from across the country on Wednesday to meet S for the first time. What a wonderful surprise for Grandma when the baby with nothing on her face was handed to her :). Precious moments.

So far S is doing great without the O2. She had been pulling that cannula out of her nose since she was about a week old, so I think she is happy to have one less annoyance in her life :). We are just praying for a healthy winter so she doesn't have to get back on it!

Updates: Surprising my husband went well! I did get to vacuum the whole house (a process that should be much easier from now on, since I can wear S without lugging an oxygen tank around too), and two shirts were ironed. It's a start. Niall appreciated my efforts.

November's goals are a struggle. As you can see I've been averaging about two posts a week instead of three. Walking and praying happen maybe twice a week. I am following 21 days to a more disciplined life on Crystal's blog at moneysavingmom. Let's face it, I need all the help I can get :/.

Here's to a good week of thanking God for our many blessings!! Woohoo, my baby is home free!!! :D

When God Hands You Plan B

 "The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Early on in my two and a half weeks of hospitalized bed rest, my mom gave me a little notebook. On the cover it said, "Life is all about how you handle Plan B." Inside of it she wrote, "Dear Sweet Daughter, whether it's Plan B, C, D or Z it's ALWAYS God's Plan A that comes to pass." What a good reminder it was for me!

I never in a million years thought I would go into pre-term labor. I remember seeing "Know the Warning Signs of Pre-Term Labor" on a screen in my OB's office, and instantly dismissing it. "Won't be needing that," I presumed smugly. My mom had had 4 perfectly normal full-term pregnancies. I was young and in good health. It was my firm belief that I'd have to fight off the doctors from inducing me once I went beyond 40 weeks. Everyone goes late on their first, right? Ha ha. Not so.

On the fateful day that my mucus plug fell out, at only 24 weeks, things went from bad to worse. I went to the hospital and was initially told by a nurse that I'd be home in a few hours. Then after an internal ultrasound revealed a non-existent cervix the doctor said I'd be staying indefinitely, depending on what my body did. Two hours later the same doctor did a speculative exam and informed me that I was 3 cm dilated and my membranes were bulging. Eww. Translation: he could see my water sac dangling down, and it was in serious danger of breaking. Guess who wasn't going to be getting out of bed anytime soon? No more toilets, no more showers. Funny how the little things we take for granted become such a big deal when they're no longer available.

My "plans" just kept on changing. That night I started contracting, until they were only two minutes apart. I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of our daughter, barely on the brink of viability. "Lord, have mercy!" He gave me great peace, but it was a battle. The only thing that stopped my entire body from shaking was quoting scripture out loud. Then mercifully labor stopped around 2 am the following morning. And for two weeks my body cooperated. I planned on being on bed rest forever. I thought I would make it to at least 36 weeks. Ultimately I knew that God was in control and He would bring our baby when He deemed best, but I was hoping to keep her in as long as possible.

Then the contractions returned, and after three days of battling them with every drug in the book, my water broke. At the doctor's check I was 4 or 5 cm, and there was nothing more that could be done. She was coming. My Plan A had been to deliver as naturally as possible. Then my placenta started to tear and I was rushed for an emergency c-section. My introduction to breastfeeding was via a pump. My daughter spent her first two months of life in the NICU. I hoped and prayed that she would come home without oxygen, yet the Lord chose otherwise.

None of these events were my plans. I would not have chosen or asked for any of them. So how would I respond? Let me tell you, there were days in which I completely succumbed to my feelings of anxiety, disappointment, and self-pity. But God in His mercy graciously would bring me back to Himself, reminding me that His thoughts were not my thoughts, and His plans were not my plans. No, His are infinitely better! Even when we cannot see that. Thank God that He works all things according to the counsel of His will. Throughout our ordeal I was reminded time and time again that God has a purpose in EVERYTHING He brings me through. I was able to have joy despite the uncertainties and agonies of having a tiny little baby in the NICU. God does everything for our good and His glory. In moments like these this truth becomes less of a cliche and more of a solid reality.

Life is going to be full of Plan B's. Will we turn inward, becoming bitter and disillusioned, or will we look to the Lord and choose joy? "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes" (Ps. 119:71). "This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life" (Ps. 119:50). "And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love the Lord and are the called according to his purpose" (Rom. 8:28).

God is faithful. After the most eventful months of my life so far, I can testify to it. He has been good. Praise His holy name!

She's Home!

Fast forward three months, and our life has changed dramatically again.

Our sweet daughter S has been home for just about a month and a half. After exactly two months in the NICU, with no out of the ordinary complications, we feel so blessed just to have her here with us. S came home on oxygen and an apnea monitor, but we are hoping she will be truly "wireless" within a few months :).

Adjusting to full-time parenthood is going well. We are exhausted, but what parent of a newborn isn't? In some ways I feel like I have finally "arrived," all I have ever wanted to do was to be a stay-at-home mom. I don't think it's hit me yet that I am really done working. I still feel like things are going to change again, this doesn't feel permanent yet.

We have so much to thank the Lord for. As I've been reading tons of books and blogs on preemies, I am finding out just all the possible things that could have gone wrong in little S's body...and yet in His Divine Providence didn't. Thank you Lord! She is absolutely beautiful, we are truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

Catching up

So it's been four months since my last post. And a wild four months it has been! When I started this blog I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy. Surprise! My due date was October 11th. Bigger surprise: I went into preterm labor at 24 weeks, was admitted to the hospital on strict bed rest, and delivered a baby girl by emergency c-section at 27 weeks on July 13th. Nowadays I am living at the NICU of our local hospital trying to help care for our micro preemie. Not what I had planned or could have foreseen, but the Lord ordained it, and by His grace our daughter is doing extremely well. Now that I am doing a lot of sitting around these days (pumping breast milk to feed her), I thought maybe I have time to blog again. So we'll see how it goes. Your prayers for our little girl are appreciated!

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                                                       Holding our little miracle, 4 days old