My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage.
My second pregnancy abruptly ended at 27 weeks, with an extremely premature birth and a two month hospital stay for our daughter.
I've heard of full term babies dying due to undiscovered infections, cords wrapped around the neck, and gestational diabetes going undetected.
If anything is certain in life, it's that life is uncertain. Knowing the uncertainties- knowing that hearing a heart beat, seeing a healthy ultrasound, or making it to 40 weeks; that these things don't guarantee a healthy babe in arms- can be nightmarish to an expectant mother's peace of mind.
I am 24 weeks now with my third baby. 24 weeks with S was the week that my mucus plug fell out, I was hospitalized, the contractions kept coming, and we came very close to losing our little girl. To say that my nerves have "struggled" this week would be an understatement.
I could chose to rest on probabilities: an infection in my placenta is probably what caused my preterm labor with S, and the likelihood of such an infection occurring again is very rare.
I could chose to rest on medicine: I've been receiving progesterone shots for weeks that are supposed to help prevent preterm labor.
I could chose to stick my head in the sand: to ignore fears, shove them away, entertain myself to distraction and pretend that nothing hard or bad ever happens.
However, none of these options are good enough. Probabilities are meaningless when all of a sudden you become the one in a million. Medicine, while useful in its proper place, can't offer me any solid guarantees. Ignoring reality is also futile- unpleasant things happen in a sin cursed world, and to close my eyes to this will only set me up for future heart break.
Trading fears for faith is a battle. This week its been a moment-to-moment, hour-by-hour kind of warfare for my mind. While I don't have all the answers, and while I am still struggling to apply known truths to my heart, the Lord has mercifully reassured me in the goodness of His grace... no matter what the outcome of this pregnancy. Over the next few weeks I'd like to share the truths that have encouraged my soul in clinging to Christ.
Join me as I seek to overcome fear in pregnancy?
Other Posts in this Series:
A Call To Open Hands
Knowing His Character
When Fears Are Realized
Linked with: Growing Home, Encourage One Another, and Raising Homemakers.
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